


They Never Were Mine

by OnyourRadar



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: All of the tropes. I D K, Angst, Because I can't avoid it., Both Lucas and Eliott are angry boys, Bullying, Deal with itttt, Fluff and Crack, He is is also stubborn, Here we go, Highschool Setting, I'm writing it for shits and giggles., Love Confessions, Love Notes, Lucas is in Love, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Shit gets said, Sorry Not Sorry, Sports, The boys argue, This is gonna be a cringy one, This is highschool themed, This one is a weird one., Updating tags, Waxing poetics about Eliott, enemies to lovers?, not my best writing, okay, what am i even doing anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21709540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyourRadar/pseuds/OnyourRadar
Summary: Someone is writing love letters to Eliott. Weird. Wonder who it could be.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 89
Kudos: 298





	1. First Your Smile

**Author's Note:**

> This is a self indulgent fic....like all my other ones. Already semi planned out and can expect regular updates of short chapters. It's gonna be a short one. Read the tags.

> _First your smile. It is deadly in the way you weild it so loosely. Aiming it at nearly anyone. I’ll admit it was what made me fall in love with you. Not for your handsome looks but more for that forgotten dimple that appears to the left of your chin everytime you lift your lips. Like a ghost; a lingering print from a lovers grip. I wonder if you’d ever aim that smile at me. It is alright if you don’t. I’m content with simply watching it appear from afar. I’m content with you never knowing how I admire you so._

“Who? Who wrote this garbage?” 

Raucous laughter rings loud—a clandestine affair of disproportionate portions— in the cafeteria. It made quite a scene, with boys jumping around each other, in slapstick humor, surrounding one who held a crinkled letter in his hands as other students looked on, some with fondness and others with a quiet resignation. 

The boy who holds the letter has a smile that splits his face handsomely. He holds fondness in his eyes and the laughter that bubbles up to accompany that of his friends holds little mockery or animosity and only with the smallest bit of cruelty bleeding through. 

Because who wouldn't laugh in this situation? A handwritten love note stuffed inside a gym locker in the 21st century. Everything about the situation became misspelled directions to laugh. 

"Oh man, oh man ...hey, smile Demaury, just smile at me would you."

Eliott looks at his friend, Idriss, and beams at him with a little mocking shake of his head. Hair bouncing with his action. 

Idriss pretends to swoon, hands clutching at his heart as he falls backwards onto Sofiane and Alex. The latter of the two quickly pushing the taller boy off of him. 

"The fuck Idriss, you weigh a fucking ton. Get off." The conversation quickly derails and has the two friends spitting insults at each other while their group of friends look on. 

Movement causes pause in the two as Idriss turns to look at Eliott. 

"Aw shit dude, you keeping it?"

Eliott nods, looks up at the high cafeteria food and holds the letter to his chest. 

"This and every single one after it." With that he folds it up and stuffs the little note in the back pocket of his jeans. 

“You think there’s gonna be more?” 

Eliott smirks at them. 

“I’m betting there’s a whole box full of notes singing my praises. You think whatever girl that is in love with me is going to stop at my smile?” 

He gestures towards his body— a move that lacked humility but made in jest—, “Look at this… let’s bet on what the next letter is going to be about.” 

Then there are shouts. Dollars being pooled together. 

His ass. 

His eyes. 

His hair. 

His legs. 

Another about his smile. 

One about his ears. That one was weird and earned Sofiane a look to which the other simply blushed and shrugged. 

“Hey, it could happen.” He threw in his dollar. 

Away from the group, the other half of the school made their own bets without losing out on money. Or gaining. 

“I bet it’s going to be about those amazing cheeks of his.”

“Basile. Please stop. Don’t indulge this bullshit.” Lucas glares at Basile as he pushes around his mashed peas and picks up then puts down his chicken patty sandwich. He wasn’t very hungry. “It’s cruel.”

“What’s cruel about it, Lulu?”

Lucas rolls his eyes at Arthur. Ever the devil’s advocate. 

“Nothing apparently. Pooling money to see what the next love letter is going to say, reading said letter out loud for the whole school to hear —”

“Well I don’t know about you but I didn’t quite _hear_ what the letter said. He didn’t exactly read it out loud.”

“Same fucking difference Bas. Did you not hear Bakhella compare this girls feelings to that of garbage?”

Arthur nods his head still looking skeptical. 

“Okay yeah. Their words are a bit harsh, but I think once that stuff is put out there, they’re allowed to do with it as they please. Plus, knowing Demaury and his gang, this type of behaviour should be expected.” 

Lucas narrows his eyes at Arthur who holds his hands up in a placating manner. In surrender. 

“Doesn’t make it any better, Arthur. It’s still cruel.”

Yann, who sat quiet about the entire affair, decides to chime in. “I say we sit closer tomorrow and try to catch a glimpse of this next love letter.” 

“You guys do what you want. I will not be a part of this skam.” Lucas ignores his three friends as they wiggle their brows ins silent conversation. He feels dread fill the pit of his stomach. 

"I'm calling on my debt!" The three shout out in unison and Lucas has to duck his head to hide in embarrassment as their shout draws in some looks from the surrounding tables. 

"Okay, okay!" Lucas whispers harshly from his ducked position. Sometimes he hated his friends. Most times he wouldn't trade them for anything.

But they've called in their debts. All three of them. A debt in the gang was not a trivial matter. Not something to overlook and take lightly. A debt was drawing on any favors Lucas has asked of them in the past and asking for repayment. Of course Lucas could turn it around and ask the same of them.

He'd rather wait for the perfect time to call on his debt. And they'll never see it coming. So against his better judgement, Lucas finds a table closest to the group of boys that has been the bane of his existence since junior high. Not to say they knew that—to be fair—they caused such anxiety in the younger boy, but Lucas is convinced that their only goal in life is to make his unknown existence miserable. 

Sure the body checks and being never picked in gym, ever since 6th grade, was never done with intention but it happened nevertheless. Lucas has to admit. It wasn't all of the boys, usually just when they traveled in packs down the hall, Lucas' face became well acquainted with a wall or locker. And he would turn, ready at that instant to give them a piece of his mind but he’d tilt his head, opened his mouth and realize with cold anger that they’ve already moved on. Not even sparing him a glance. 

Perhaps the outright ignorance of his existence hurt more.

That’s okay. Lucas can get over it. 

So with the utmost reluctance, he finds the table that is closest to the group without being too obvious. His plan is completely thwarted the moment he sets his tray down. Faster than he could pull the hood of his grey _ROMANCE_ sweater up and over his mess of a head he’s called upon. 

“Lucas?”

He rolls his eyes. 

“Hey Lallemant. I think Daphne’s trying to get your attention.”

Lucas wants to pretend he doesn’t hear their voice but he fears Emma’s wrath if he ignores them. So he turns. Does a little hand lift and the awkward turn of the corners of his lips, a look closer to a grimace than a smile. 

“What brings you into this neck of the woods? You never sit near us.” It’s Imane that asks the question but Lucas doesn’t want to admit he moved closer to hear the readings of the letters. So he shrugs. 

“Got tired of the trash smell from over there. Thought it would be nicer here.” 

“Come sit with us.” Daphne urges him and there’s one last spot between Daphne and Manon if Lucas squeezes but how does he explain it to his boys. He doesn’t quite think he can refuse from the look in Emma’s eyes so he sighs, picks up his tray and moves closer. The table is right next to Demaury’s table. A little too close. 

He sees Arthur and Basile make their way closer and upon realizing he was sitting with the girls, the both of them point and laugh but sit where he originally planned. Yann joins them not minutes later. They weren’t going to help him out of his predicament judging from the smile on their faces. 

Lucas internally melts and resigns to his fate. There wasn’t even a letter today. What a fucking skam.


	2. Second, That Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just random silliness. Not my best writing. Please remember and be kind to me. Thanks.
> 
> POV Shifts in this chapter. Dialogue heavy.

"Be honest. You're here to listen to those letters? Aren't you. Curious 'bout what this girl has got to say about big hotshot Demaury."

Lucas throws a fry at Emma and watches in satisfaction as it bounces off her chest. She looks down indignantly at the offending fry then back up with a fire in her eyes.

"I should kill you and all your future unborn children for that."

Lucas smirks in satisfaction before shrugging his shoulders and turning to Daphne. 

"I mean, I could give two flying fucks about those letters. The gang is curious though and roped me into this.” He gestures with his hand to whatever “this” is. 

“Well lucky for you, you just missed the newest one.” Daphne giggles into her hands as she states this. She holds up a palm to calm Emma in her rage.

“Oh no. You don’t say.” He rolls his eyes and catches Yann and the boys filing into the cafeteria. When they shoot him a thumbs up he shakes his head negatively. If he was to hear, to just catch a glimpse of these love notes he might have found himself surprised. But he hasn't, and he doesn't so Lucas goes about without a care. 

He doesn't mind sitting with the girls. It's a nice change in pace and their level of sass entertain him. Plus, he already sees the boys in class so it's not as if he misses out too much. 

"It was actually pretty cute. Waxing poetics about Demaury's voice. Surprising right?" When she talks her shoulders move up in an odd move to say _'I'm quite taken by these love notes'._

Lucas looks away from Daphne and towards Imane, who sits to his left today,and shrugs. He doesn't quite vocalize everything that is on his mind because no one but him really deserves to know that truth. So he settles with,

"He does have a very soothing voice, I can see why someone would write about it." What he doesn't say is he has written about it despite every cell in his body screaming at him not to. Lucas tends to hide those thoughts and actions deep in the recesses of his mind. If ever asked about it he would deny, deny, and deny until he is blue in the face. 

"Oh? Talk much to Demaury do you?" 

"No, but I don't live under a fucking rock, Emma." He throws another fry at her. 

"Debatable."

Lucas flips Emma off just as a loud round of laughter erupts from the table next to theirs. He does his best not to look up but when Imane, who sits to his left, mutters rather loudly, 

"All of them are idiots…" Lucas can't help but grin when he catches her smile. 

"I couldn't agree more." He misses talking to Imane. A quiet friend who grew into an acquaintance throughout the year. She was always a presence that smiled kindly at him and simultaneously took bbn one of his bullshit.

"I mean why act like you're interested and then laugh about it after the fact. Putting on a show like there is nothing better out there to entertain yourself with." Imane huffs after her rant and Lucas thinks at once she is his soul sister. Putting his thoughts into words so eloquent with just the right amount of bite. 

"He could use this situation to his advantage though." Lucas mutters, teeth clenching down on a soggy fry and eyes averted back to his plate. He's a bit lost in thought when Manon pokes him in the cheek and he turns to the right to look at her then at the others who watch him far more intently than he is used to. 

"Hm? And how is that?"

Lucas turns the table and finds himself blushing under the scrutiny. 

"He-he could show interest," Lucas shrugs feeling self conscious. "Don't you think the person would be more likely to reveal themselves if Eliott showed that he was interested?" 

He poses the question, eyes bouncing between all the girls at his table and feels himself relax just the slightest at their contemplative looks. 

"Imane!"

At the shout Lucas looks up with dread. He catches the gaze of the topic of their discussion. Lucas swallows thickly as the other boy makes his way over. The short distance feeling somehow shorter. 

He reaches the table in a matter of seconds. Quicker than Lucas can come up with a bullshit excuse to get up and leave. So he looks away from the other and makes himself smaller by resting his head on his forearm and attaching his eyes to an image of penis that was carved onto the table.

_____

> _Second. That voice. That laugh. Are they the same in one? It's hard to say. But when you speak and when you laugh the sound rings true and loud. So much that it brightens up my day. That if I could I would capture the sound and engrave it on every surface. So if ever I feel down and you're not around, I'd have it there with me. But most importantly, when you laugh and when you speak, when you yell and the anger stirs the octaves, I know you feel so deeply. I wonder what you sound like when you are in love. Do you sound like me?_

“ _How_ the fuck?” Alex gestures angrily at the letter as if it offended him and then proceeded to point at Eliott who sat an innocently look on his face.

Eliott shrugs. 

“Why are you mad at me?”

Like the contents of the letter was his fault. Like he was the one who wrote those words. He was simply the muse. He didn’t tell his secret admire what to write. Eliott listens to the other boys around him rant and rave about the impossibilities of guessing the topics of these so called love notes. 

He chuckles when Idriss, the melodramatic fucker drops down next to him with a grimace. 

“Boys, you know what this means.” Eliott cocks a brow. “This means we pool in more money until one of us wins the jackpot.”

Idriss leans in, and with wide hands, grips at Eliott’s cheeks effectively squishing them together. “And we need to get fucking serious and creative with this shit. I bet 5 that the next one is going to be about that stupid freckle he has on the back of his neck.” 

Idriss uses his position to pull Eliott forward and slides his hands to brush away the hair at the nape of the other boys neck. Eliott, all the while, struggles to get out of his hold, hands pushing harshly at his taller friend. 

“Get the fuck off me, Idriss”

“I think it’s going to be about his eyelashes!” 

Eliott, successfully knocking Idriss on his ass rolls his eyes at the absurd claims around him. 

“It’s gonna be his teeth next!”

“That was the first one you idiot.”

“All of them are idiots.” The new voice that comments from a table away draws Eliott’s attention away from his group of friends. He locks on to the sight of Imane, Idriss’ younger sister.

“Imane!” Eliott exclaims. He is about to stand and bound over to the table of girls to take the usually open seat when he realizes someone has already beat him to it. 

He watches the small brunette throw fries at Emma, watches him roll his eyes and takes in the warm blush that dust his high cheeks at something the girls say. Lucas Lallemant. He knows him. Knows him from the years they’ve gone to school together, but he doesn’t ever remember being in the company of the other boy. Ever. 

Neither turn to look at him so he stares curiously for a bit longer, his eyes glued intently on Lucas. He looks the other up and down. Takes in the wild hair and a pointed nose. He looks familiar and different all the same. Like Eliott is supposed to know him. 

He calls out a second time. "Imane!"

Both Imane and the other boy looks up at the same time and Eliott is struck by the vibrant gaze, he forgets for a second what he was going to say. 

He is intrigued so he stands and makes his way over to them, just a table away. There are no empty seats so Eliott stays standing, looming over the table of soft faces that look at him with smiles and twinkling eyes. Except one. Lucas keeps his head down, fingers swirling and tracing patterns on the table in front of him. 

“Eliott, how nice of you to join us,” Daphne said. Voice lifting with an inviting excitement that Eliott found contagious. He smiles at her and blows her a kiss. He looks down at Imane and nudges her shoulder lightly in greeting. She brings a hand up to cup at his, gentle soft, and Eliott is reminded of why he likes Idriss’ younger sibling so much. So different from her older brother. 

“What’s happening? Anything new with you ladies?” He throws out casually, eyes lingering on Lucas. He was new, all brunette hair and deep blue eyes. A guy at their table. Something tickles at Eliott, a need. A want. Wants the girls to bring up the fact that Lucas is sitting with them for whatever reason. He wants them to say his name and make the other boy finally look up again.

“Just sitting and listening to the train wreck that is your boys and you fawning over love letters from a secret admirer."

Eliott shoots Emma and the table a toothy grin. 

"C'mon you have to admit. It's pretty fucking sweet." Like candy. Rots his teeth with every word he reads. 

He hears a slight scoff from Lucas who still has yet to look back up. Eliott looks closer and sees that he is tracing the outline of a penis and he snorts a laugh at the sight. 

"I don't know about sweet," Imane said as she looked up at Eliott and Eliott interprets the look as a reprimand. Imane has that effect on others. 

He brushes a finger against his nose, and looked down feeling bashful. 

"Mm, " he shrugs. "I think it's sweet. Maybe if we keep up with it. They'll reveal who they are."

"Lucas was just discussing with us his thoughts on what you should do." 

Eliott watches as Lucas snaps his head up, eyes glaring at Imane, betrayal bleeding through in his gaze. Imane shrugs him off as he splutters, trying his best to respond. 

"I was - that wasn't...I didn't sa -"

Eliott finds the way he scrambles for words endearing. Cute as he struggles and face going red. 

"So what's the solution?" He asks, the other boys mouth immediately closing shut, eyes snapping towards him. Eliott doesn't imagine how those eyes give him the once over. Up and down, a slow trek of blue gaze and attention causes his pulse to quicken just the slightest. He licks his lips and watches as Lucas follows the movement. But something clicks and the moment is over as he watches Lucas snarl, lips curling up and eyes narrowing in contempt. 

The next words out to come out leaves a bad taste in Eliott's mouth. 

"You can stop being a dick!" Lucas states this as his fingers jab at the carving on the table and Eliott isn't sure if the other boy is aware that he is doing it. 

He stands up, a whole head size shorter than Eliott, and picks up his bag and tray. 

"I have to go." Eliott watches as he storms off. Back turned and an eagerness in his steps to get away. 

Eliott looks back at the girls, eyebrows raised and question in his gaze. Did he do something? Eliott watches the way Emma rolls her eyes. 

"Don't mind Lallemant, something obviously crawled up his ass and died." Eliott grimaces at the imagery. 

Eliott hears Imane murmur, "I'll go talk to him", and is quick to push her back down in her seat. 

"No,no!" He shouts. At the alarmed look from the girl's Eliott pulls back and smiles, because even he thinks he sounds like a creep. 

“I mean,” He brings a hand to rub at his neck, grin still present on his face. “I’ll handle it. Seems like he’s mad at me for some reason.”

He waves to the table and excuses himself, jogging lightly after Lucas. The flash of angry blue eyes and tousled locks appearing over and over in his mind as he tries his best to catch up. It doesn’t take long to locate him. Short as he may be. He smiles at the sight, hair peeking up past the throng of students like a beacon, arms moving quickly to shove one or two worn and torn text books into the open locker. Elliot takes a chance. Knows that he might be entering dangerous territory with the way those lips frown and those brows furrow. 

Eliott is simultaneously slow in his steps as he is quick. Wants to reach Lucas before he finishes up and leaves but doesn’t want to startle the other. 

Lucas catches sight of him when he’s only a couple of feet away and Eliott can see the way his eyes widen, mouth drops open the slightest, like he’s surprised. 

By what Eliott wasn’t sure. They’re quiet for a second. Lucas looking on as if waiting for Eliott to speak and Eliott looking on because he isn’t really sure what to say. It’s weird. He finds it absolutely weird that he can’t figure out what words he wants to use and he has never felt so...nervous around another person. At least not in the last couple of years. 

Eliott has found his niche in high school. Secured a great group of friends who have his back, always. Who laugh with him, play with him, joke around with him. He has two best friends who would do anything for him. People who leave him wanting for nothing when it comes to support. So he feels strange, out of place as he swallowed thickly under the gaze of the shorter brunette. Feels like he was in the wrong for wanting to talk to him.

But he’s Eliott Demaury, dammit. So Eliott says fuck it and throws on his award winning smile, sure to melt anyone’s heart and opens his big mouth. 

“Listen, back there...I’m not sure if I did something to insult you but whatever it is, I didn’t mean it.” 

And he is sincere about this. Really wants Lucas to stop looking at him so skeptical. 

“I’m not trying to be a dick.” 

“Could have fooled me.” Eliott feels confused at the accusation. Confused as to why, Lucas who he has spent maybe less than 5 minutes in the company of is so confrontational. 

“Is this about the love notes?”

Lucas rolls his eyes. 

“I could care less about the notes. I haven’t even heard what is written on those notes. It’s how you guys go about shredding the poor soul who wrote it to pieces with you laughter and your bets.” 

And Eliott is looking at the shorter boy in a new light. Understands where the hostility comes from. Because he has the hardened exterior of an angry hedgehog but in truth he was soft. Soft on the inside. Worried about another humans feelings. Eliott admires that. 

He smiles, gently, at the revelation. 

“I’m only having them read it aloud so maybe my admire will gain some courage to confess.” Eliott bites at his bottom lip, releases it and likes the way those eyes go back to watching the motion. 

“Maybe you should show interest and care instead of bets and laughter.” There is a bitterness in his voice that has Eliott holding up his hand in a show of peace. 

“Okay, okay. I get it. I honestly just want to know who is writing the letters. Because it’s sweet.” Heart warming. Loving. And maybe Eliott has fallen in love with the cliched way they described him. That this mysterious person has spent so much time watching him and paying attention to the little things that it has him curious. What type of person would like him like that and why has Eliott not noticed them. 

“I can’t control the actions of my friends though.” He shrugs, because they are their own persons. He was not about to dictate and tell them what to do. He’s not about that kind of life. 

Though he said it, words spilled out and everything, Lucas looks unconvinced. So Eliott stand a little straighter, turns on that charm that he knows he carries, and smiles. Not a blinding smile. Feels his lips stretch just enough and bends his head so he’s that much closer to the other boy. 

He is thrown off by the way a light pink dusts the bridge of Lucas’ nose and his cheeks color slightly. Thrown off by how much he likes it and how he enjoys the fact that they are sharing a space, brief as it may be. 

“How ‘bout you sit with me tomorrow and we can discuss a plan of action. I feel like you would know what to do in this case.” Help him solve this mystery. 

“What makes you think I’ll know what to do?” Eliott shrugs. He doesn’t. But he is extending a hand of tentative friendship. 

“You’ll at least be able to tell me when I’m being a dick.” 

He doesn’t move away until he sees the other roll his eyes and look away to the side. Lucas huffs, folds his arms across his chest and quietly utters a, _“fine”._

“Great!” Eliott steps away and watches as Lucas releases the tension in his shoulders. He thinks about how he might be able to get the other boy to loosen up. “I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch.” 

At Lucas’ nod, Eliott finds that he doesn’t want to leave just yet but has no reason to stay so he backs away slowly. When he’s halfway down the hall he turns and is surprised to catch the other staring back at him. He gave a little wave and isn’t surprised when Lucas turns and walks away without a response. Eliott huffs a laugh. 

He thinks he’s going to really enjoy lunch from now on.

\----

Lucas walks briskly to his biology class. Doesn’t bother to say hi to his teacher like he normally does and makes a beeline to Yann in the back row. A completely different move from where he normally sits.

Imane shoots him a concerned glance. He does his best to ignore her because that was a can of worms he was not going to open. Yann was easier.

“Oh hey, man. What’s up?”

“How the fuck did I get ropped into sitting with Demaury tomorrow?” 

Yann goes buggeyed at the question. 

“What? How on earth did that happen?” 

So Lucas tells him. Tells him about how he called him a _dick_ in front of the girls. How Eliott followed him, even when the story isn’t supposed to go like that. Even when pattern has shown that Eliott Demaury didn’t really care about anyone outside his friend group. Even when all those preconceived notions of who the taller jock was supposed to be, told Lucas that never in a million years would the other boy chase after Lucas for an insult. And then proceed to _apologize_ , in not so many words. 

So when Lucas is done recapping, Yann is quiet. Absolutely thinking about his words, eyes locked on the worksheet in front of him saying nothing. Lucas nudges him and cocks a brow. 

“Why...why didn’t you just say no?” Yann asks. As if saying why didn’t that idea every cross his mind when faced with such a situation. As if it was the most obvious thing he could have done. But didn't.

“If you don’t want to sit with him so bad, why didn’t you just say no? You sure you didn't just want to sit with him?” he wiggles his brows and Lucas wants to smother Yann with a pillow. Even though he doesn’t have one on hand. If only to get away from the fact that Yann is right. If only to ignore the little bit of guilt he had, that he really didn’t want to talk about, for calling the other a dick when really, he wasn’t one. 

And Lucas knew that. So he deflects. 

“I wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for the fact that you boys wanted in on this whole love note fiasco.” It wasn’t even that interesting. Because he’s missed every single one so far. If he arrives at lunch just a little later than normal nobody really needs to know that truth. 

Yann looks at him knowingly. A grin on his face. 

"Right. All our fault."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next story I have planned: 
> 
> Fancy tutor Eliott. But with my personal spin on things. Because I'm extra.  
> Can't fucking Wait. 
> 
> Yeah. The idea has been bothering me. Should I try to finish my other fics first? TELL me UNIVERSE. Tell me what to do. Leave a comment.


	3. The Heights in which you take me...my artist, I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He only wished they had done this earlier, seeing how he enjoyed the others company so much. Eliott thinks on all the wasted years but can't seem to voice it. So he keeps his thoughts to himself. 
> 
> They finish the meal in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well White Picket Fence is Complete. Now I just need to focus on this, From Stone We Sculpt Symmetry, and Stacking Thoughts. 
> 
> ....Wish me luck.
> 
> Also heavy use of the word FUCK.

> _How tall you stand, when next to me. Although you are rarely ever next to me. I am overpowered by your shadow. By your height. How easy it would be for you to pick me up and carry me away from the ground and place me closer to the sky and stars. I know this sounds crazy but I love how tall you are. The length of which you reach simply by existing. How far your legs take you. I am a speck in your space. But I wish to be an important speck...one you'll notice. One you'll carry wherever you may go._

“I am done. So done. Your height? Your secret admirer is fucking strange.”

“Don’t call her strange. She’s not strange.” Eliott felt defensive of this unknown girl. The swell and sense of protectiveness consumes him when he hears the insult fall from Alex’s lips.

"Okay but seriously?"

Eliott looks pointedly at the other boy, daring him to say another word. Eliott might have been friends with Alex but he promised a world of pain if the other continued. 

Alex bites the bullet. Holds up his hand in peace and looks towards the heaven with a grin. 

"Alright, alright." He said, sly grin. “No more insults towards your strange girl.” 

Eliott slams his palm on the table in front of him and is up and out of his seat, hopping over the barrier in a matter seconds. He demonstrates effortlessly for others to see why he was the star of the rugby team. He chases Alex, who laughs freely, around the table, fire in his eyes. 

“Get the fuck back here Delano.” He shouts at the other. He hears Sofiane and Idriss laughing at their antics, ignores the way the teachers call out, voice dull and bored, for the two of them to stop. When he rounds the corner of the table, weaving in and out between bodies, Eliott sees him a little too late. 

Sees his widened eyes, and deer in the headlight gaze. Mouth dropped open and too stuck to lift his arms to brace for impact. Eliott feels in that split moment, panic sink his bones. 

He shouts “shit!” and brings his hands up to hold the other, like a tackle but he has less time to prepare for the contact. Hands wrap and cradle a head, weaving into the brunette locks and then they are on the ground. Eliott’s body curled as protectively as possible around Lucas. He feels guilt eat at him as a harsh “oof” and a groan spill from the other. Eliott is quick to scramble up on his knees and hands letting go of the soft hair in his grip. He stares down at Lucas’ curled up body, arms that wrap around a too small waist, face scrunched up in pain. 

Eliott is sure he hears raucous laughter behind them but its drowns out when he hears Lucas groan again. 

“Fuck, Demaury. What did I ever do to you?” Lucas cracks an eye and looks up at Eliott and Eliott bites his lip as he is assaulted with guilt. 

Eliott was made for taking contact of such nature. Lucas was not. Eliott stands and offers a shaky hand to Lucas who glares at it but takes it anyway. Eliott watches as Lucas stretches, rubs at his backside and winced again at the phantom pain that, Eliott can’t see but can imagine, shoots up the other’s back. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. That wasn’t supposed to happen.” Eliott looks away from Lucas and up, eyes quickly pinpointing where Alex was. The other boy bent over and hiding behind Idriss and Sofiane. He glares at the other boy who is wheezing through his bouts of laughter. 

_He is so fucking dead._ Eliott leads Lucas to the table, hands gripping his shoulders and pushing Lucas down into a chair next to his. 

“Holy shit, surprised Lallemant is still standing. Thought he would be down for the count after a tackle like that. Guess he has more back bone in him than we initially thought.” Lucas turns and glares at Charles who sits leaning across the table, brown eyes raking over Lucas’ bent form. 

“Fuck off.” 

“Oh, little Lallemant has some bite in him. Wonder what else he’s been hiding.” 

“Why you wanna know? Interested Charles? Something you ain’t telling us?” Eliott flutters his lashes at his teammate. 

Eliott knows Charles. Knows that he can be a dick sometimes but he doesn’t like how the other boy looks at Lucas; the way he talks down to him. 

“What, is our boy Charlie catching some feelings?” Idriss walks over and his large hand comes down to ruffle the dirty blonde locks. Idriss bends till he is eye level with Charles, his smile small and dangerous. Even from this distance, Eliott catches the glint in Idriss’ eyes. From the weary look that falls on Lucas’ face, he sees it too. 

Charles is quick to swipe at the hand and move away from it, scowl on his face. 

“I ain’t catching shit.” He turns and glares at Lucas. “And don’t fucking call me that.”

Eliott watches as Charles picks up his bag and stands, face still hardened from something. 

“Fuck this, I’m out. Table’s getting a little too crowded for my liking.” No one stops the other boy from leaving and Eliott is glad that he does. He doesn’t feel the slightest remorse because even he gets tired of Charles bad attitude sometimes. 

Not to be misunderstood, Eliott respects Charles as his teammate first and foremost but outside the field, there was little that bonded Eliott to Charles. He didn’t quite approve of the way the other used his status to flirt his way through the throngs of girls that worshiped him. Didn’t like the way Charles was just that much meaner to some of their classmates. 

Eliott knew Charles didn’t much like him either, because Eliott wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. Wasn’t afraid to tell him to stop when he took it too far. And Eliott knew, just as Charles did, that the team would always have Eliott’s back when it came to those matters. Idriss especially. It helped that Charles was scared shitless of Idriss though he never voiced it. 

Eliott looked at Idriss who had an eyebrow raised and was currently in a staring contest with Lucas. Lucas narrowed his gaze, his lips dipping at the corner, chin rested in the palm of his hand. 

It lasted for a few minutes before Idriss broke and blinked his eyes rapidly, stray tears falling from his eyes. 

“Shit, I think your boy is broken Eliott. Who the fuck doesn’t blink for that long?” Eliott smiles when he catches the smirk on Lucas’ face. The shorter boy looks down at the table and blinks those blue eyes slowly. 

Lucas clears his throat and looks back up at the two of them, waiting.

“You kind of missed the reading of the note. Do you want to see it?” Lucas shakes his head. 

“No thank you. I’m good.” 

Eliott leans his weight on the table, hands holding up his chin and body turned slightly towards Lucas.

“How are you supposed to help me if you don’t know what the note said?” 

Lucas rolls his eyes and huffs at the question. Eliott finds the whole exasperated act to be endearing. 

“What the fuck am I? A detective?” The question is accompanied with a lift of an eyebrow and a dip of lips. 

“One thing for sure, Charlie boy was right. Your stray got bite.” 

Eliott grins cheekily at Idriss but is quick to calm the fire that he sees brewing in the shorter brunette. 

“No, no. Nothing like that. But, you could add a different perspective.” He grabs onto Lucas' arm and gives him a little shake as he lets out a whine that he knows his unbecoming but it gets Lucas to crack a small smile. 

"Fine, what's the note about this time?"

Eliott delights in how quick the other gives in. He convinces himself that it is indeed not because Lucas was trying to get Eliott to stop pestering him. 

"Eliott's secret beau was singing praises about his height and something about being nothing when they stand next to him and yadda yadda." Idriss crudely summarizes the note with a wave of his hand. "But honestly the note tells us nothing."

Lucas shrugs. 

"His admirer is shorter than him." He states this so matter of fact that Eliott can't stop the shock from coloring his face. 

Idriss narrows his eyes. 

"And obviously they share some classes." Lucas stretches his arms up and yawns as if the whole mystery bores him. "Or at least, they did at some point." 

"Well, shit. You did find yourself a little detective, E." Idriss mutters without taking his eyes off of Lucas. 

Eliott beams at Lucas and gives into the urge to run his fingers through the unruly locks, ruffling it even more. He can't quite pinpoint the racing of his pulse when Lucas grows red and ducks his head away from Eliott.

"Stop that!" Lucas shouts at him, hands coming up to swat at the hand that invades his personal space. The sharp movement draws out a hiss from Lucas who freezes up, arms coming to cradle his side. 

Eliott is immediately reminded of why Lucas is wincing in pain, the guilt continues to manifest and warp his face as he frowns at the other.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry." Lucas glowers at him, an air of disbelief swirling between them. Eliott bites his lips at the look. 

"No seriously. I'll make it up to you. What's...what's your favorite snack?"

Lucas' lips curl. 

"If you think a snack is going to make up for almost crippling me, think again. You better be promising a three course meal." 

Idriss barks a laugh and looks at Eliott, eyes shining. 

"He's more maintenance than your ex Lucille." Eliott flips him off and turns to Lucas with a smirk. He finds that his pulse is racing again at the light blush that dusts Lucas' high cheeks. 

"You got yourself a deal. Three course meal after practice. On me." 

Eliott watches as those blue eyes widen and mouth drops open. 

"Wha...n-no I was-- I didn't mean…"

"Can't take it back now Lallemant. It's a fucking date." Eliott winks at Lucas who continues to sputter as his cheeks grow increasingly red. Eliott is prepared for the other to stand abruptly. Prepared for him to say “whatever” through gritted teeth and then storm away without looking back. 

Eliott lets him walk away. Doesn’t call after him. He turns back to Idriss who is looking at him with a narrowed gaze and sharp grin, lips pulled back enough to reveal his sharp canines. Eliott looks back at him, daring him to say something. 

“Since when has our boy E been into charity cases?” Eliott is quick to frown. 

“I’m not.” He growls out. “And he isn’t a charity case.” Idriss lifts a brow but keeps his mouth closed. “He’s not!” Eliott looks towards the doors Lucas just walked out of. 

“He’s...funny.” Except he wasn’t just funny. He was something else. Something entirely different and Eliott couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He was feisty, talked with a lot of fire but he was kind and caring. Soft when he was with the girls. Hardened and guarded when around others he didn’t know. Or around those he knew too well. 

Eliott shrugs. "He's fun to have around." Idriss hums but says nothing. 

They leave the matter at that and when Eliott looks up he catches gazes with Alex. A renewed fire lights in his veins and Eliott smiles menacingly, revelling in the way Alex starts to sweat. 

"Just you fucking wait for practice Delano." 

Eliott always kept his promises. 

—  
"What the hell is this I hear about a date you have with Demaury?"

Lucas groans. 

"Fuck. Don't remind me Yann. He probably was just saying shit to be stupid or something."

"Or something? Or something is right." 

Lucas drops his head on the desk with a thunk. 

—

> _Do they know that you are an artist. That your hands are made to create? Images of beauty; of fun fleeting thoughts. Do they pay attention to the dexterity that you've been blessed with? You were made for more than catching ball, tossing and dribbling. The best of you comes through as you twirl the pens and pencils. Catch them in your nimble hands. When you come to school your inner palms splattered with paint from the night before. Do they know of your talent? Of what you want to be? I do. But perhaps I pay far too much attention. I dream of the day you would be captured by me the same way I've been captured by you._

Eliott reads the notes. Reads it again and again and smiles at the way something inside him flutters. He holds it gentle, careful not to crinkle the paper. Uses a care that he only deems a few worthy of. He keeps this one to himself.

His fingers, damp from water and sweat smudge the contents of the note slightly. He folds it and places it back in his locker before he ruins it completely. Eliott heads towards the showers to wash the grim off his body. He walks past Alex who is limping from the amount of laps Eliott made him run during practice but he still holds onto his cheeky grin. Eliott pats him on the back as they pass each other. 

He doesn't stop for small talk because he still has a promise to keep. A three course meal. 

He smiles, feeling excited. He makes quick work in the shower. Cleans up nicely and is out of school in record time. He orders the food and picks it up on his way to Lucas', only knowing where they other lived after doing a little snooping around. 

He knocks on the door loudly and only waits for a couple minutes before he hears the shuffling of feet and the door cracks open, blue eyes peering out and widening in surprise. Lucas opens the door wide mouth hanging open. 

"What are you doing here? How did you know where I lived?" His brows scrunch adorably and all Eliott can do is hold up the bag of take out food. 

"I got some crab rangoon as an appetizer, lo mein for the main course, and to top it all off...fortune cookies." Eliott wiggles his brows, knows it's not quite the answer to the question, but he looks at Lucas, waiting to be let in. 

"Lucas, who's at the door?" Eliott sees who he could only guess is Lucas' mother peering out from beyond the kitchen. Her hands occupied with a washcloth and bowl. Kind blue eyes stare out at him. Smile adorning a soft face. It's clear Lucas gets his looks from his mother. 

"Oh, uh...this is Eliott, mama." Eliott almost snickers at the endearment. "I forgot he was coming over to help me with an art project." 

Lucas ushers him in and Eliott is quick to turn on the charm. 

"Sorry for imposing ma'am. I brought some dinner if you'd like some." Mrs. Lallemant smiles at him, her hand coming up to cover half her face. 

"No that's quite alright. I had dinner already so you boys enjoy. And it's never an imposition. Lucas' friends are welcome anytime." 

"Thank you ma'am." Parents loved him. 

"Right. We are, um. Well we're going to go get some work done. If you need anything mama, just holler." Lucas grabs Eliott and he lets himself be dragged up a flight of stairs and thrown into a room before the door is slammed shut. 

Eliott takes in the mess of a room, clothing strewn about. Christmas lights haphazardly bordering a window. CD cases piled high on the floor. 

"Sorry it's a mess, I wasn't expecting visitors." Eliott shrugs. It wasn't as messy as much as it was lived in. Lucas' room had character and he liked it. 

He holds up the bag again. "You did say three course meal, and I did say date. You should always take me seriously."

Lucas shakes his head in exasperation and motions for Eliott to sit on the bed before grabbing at the contents of the bag. They sit eating in silence for a stretch of time, both navigating the awkwardness with a relative ease until Eliott breaks the silence.

"I got another note. "

Lucas pauses, chopsticks hovering for a moment. 

"That so?" Eliott hums. 

"Wanna read it?" Lucas shakes his head. 

"Why don't you ever want to read it?" 

Eliott watches as the other boy lowers the take out container. He rests his chopsticks on the edge of it and his eyes look around, trying to purchase onto something. Lucas' blue gaze settles on the floor. 

"I guess, because love notes are supposed to be something intimate...between the writer and the receiver." He shrugs. "Just feels weird to read something that wasn't meant for me."

Eliott stops eating and feels a frown tug at his lips. He's never thought of it that way and he can see Lucas' reservations now. 

"You ever think that your admirer could be hideous, uglier than you can imagine? Or that someone was playing a prank on you?" 

Eliott shrugs and chews thoughtfully on a crab rangoon. 

"I don't think looks really matter. I just want to know who she is. I think...I think someone who could spend some much time learning about me and observing me deserves a chance." 

He didn't care about looks despite what others thought. Eliott watches as Lucas tilts his head, blue eyes boring into him, chopsticks tapping at his lower lips in thought. The word cute flits across his thoughts at the image the other creates. 

"What makes you think it's a girl?" 

Eliott grins as he replays the words again and again. He shrugs. 

"Something about the way it's written. It's so...poetic and flowery. Beautiful and soft." He feels a giddy just thinking about it. Doesn't know how to stop his racing heart.

Lucas snorts and continues to dig into his food. 

"Boys can be flowery and poetic. And beautiful and soft. And everything a girl can be as well." Eliott shakes his head, smile on his lips as he takes in the others indignance.

"Ok, okay. I get it...still." he chuckles. "I don't think it really matters." 

Eliott stares down at the mess of greasy noodles and off colored chicken. It didn't matter. "Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have a secret admirer. I just want to meet them." He can't help feeling forlorn. For a second, Eliott wants to slap himself for sounding so sappy in front of this boy that he has only known for a couple of days. But there is an intrinsic level of comfort that he feels but can't explain. He doesn't have to be big, hotshot Demaury in front of him. It was strange and Eliott can't pinpoint why but he's content to let it lie. 

"Just keep showing you're interested and I'm sure they'll break and reveal themselves soon enough." Eliott wants to thank Lucas for the comforting words, but can't bring himself to so he simply nods and continues eating. 

Lucas snorts. 

"What?" 

The shorter boy shakes his head. 

"Never in a million years did I think I'd have drop dead gorgeous, Eliott Demaury sitting on my bed eating Chinese food with me." 

Eliott smiles slyly at the other. "Oh. So you think I'm drop dead gorgeous do you?" Eliott loves the way Lucas bristles at the seams. Eyes growing wide and mouth dropping open quickly trying to defend himself. 

"What? No! That is not what I meant...I-I didn't. "

Eliott barks a laugh. "Relax, I was only joking." He doesn't mind that he is on the receiving end of a glare. He finds his pulse racing again as he took in the others frazzled state. He only wished they had done this earlier, seeing how he enjoyed the others company so much. Eliott thinks on all the wasted years but can't seem to voice it. So he keeps his thoughts to himself. 

They finish the meal in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes galore. Point them out. This is not edited. I'm sorry. Leave your thoughts?
> 
> Me: I write for myself and no one else. Comments are just bonuses in the process.
> 
> Also me: STOP being stingy. LEavE me your thoughts, your words, your anything, your _everything_ Leave me your children.  
> COmmenters are the real MVP.
> 
> @bluronyourradar on tumblr


	4. All of it...they never were mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look....I'm updating... odd isn't it. I feel like I've been on a writing roll... 
> 
> This is NOT edited. SO I apologize for all the mistakes. I will go back in and edit later!

After a week of becoming Eliott’s little detective, Lucas realizes that while things sort of change, they didn’t change all that much. There wasn’t a big shift, no realignment of the planets, no change in weather and wind. When his face smashed against his locker door, a rough hand pushed against his shoulders in a move that happens so quickly no one but Lucas catches it, Lucas cements this thought. That nothing really changes even though he spends more time around the jocks. 

Lucas is quick to straighten himself, pull away from the cold metal and ignore the sting on his face as he glared at the retreating back of Charles. The other boy barely spares a glance back but Lucas can see the set of his lips. The small satisfied lift. The other’s that walk with him, surround him, don’t notice a thing. If they do, they say nothing. He rolls his eyes just as he rolls his jaw making sure everything was in working order. 

He pulls out the books he needs and stuffs them into his bag. Lucas reaches to grab another but he finds his locker slammed shut before he could. He pulls back just into and snaps his gaze at the perpetrator. 

Blue grey eyes that glint in the luminescent lights of the hallway smile down at him. Lucas glares back with a little less mirth. 

“Asshole, that almost got me.” 

He notices how his tone does little to dull the smile that splits a handsome face. 

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll be more careful next time. So as not to hurt the princess.” Eliott shoots back and the way he laughs tells Lucas he enjoys watching him scowl at the pet name. 

“Don’t call me that.” He turns and slings his bag onto his shoulders opting to leave that last book in the already closed locker. He can come back for it. He doesn’t bother waiting for the other, knowing that Eliott would make quick strides and catch up. It’s only been two or three days really, but somehow they’ve gotten into the habit of walking to class together. 

Lucas ignores the way his heart is beating off beat and successfully keeps his cheeks from warming in embarrassment. The first day it happens, Lucas has to roll his eyes as Eliott stupidly shouts, _“wait, since when did we have this class together?”_

_“Since the beginning of the year, stupid.”_

Lucas thinks fondly of the oblivious brunette. He watches Eliott walk backwards, occasionally jumping up to smack at exit signs and greeting his friends with high-fives. 

“You think your mom would be willing to bake more of those cookies for me?” Lucas cocks his head at Eliott. He nibbles on the tip of the ballpoint pen that hangs from his mouth. When Eliott looks back at him, smile bright and unforgiving like the sun, Lucas shrugs. 

“Why, did you like them?” Eliott scoffs at the question. 

“If by liking them, you mean I devoured the entire dozen cookies the moment I got into my car then yeah, I liked them.” 

Lucas hums and ducks his head to hide a smile. After their impromptu dinner/fake ass date, Eliott stuck around and listened to some music before heading home. Of course Lucas’ mother couldn’t let him leave empty handed and promptly gave Eliott an entire batch of double chocolate chip cookies. Eliott took one bite and sang her praises and accepted the entire plate with no complaints.

“What makes you think she would. She hardly bakes for her own son.” Lucas drawls and rolls his eyes. He might be dramatic but he is serious. She hardly ever bakes for him. 

“Because _all_ parents love me. I bet she would if you told her it was for me.” Lucas doesn’t doubt this so he says nothing to retort. He continues his slow strides, not wanting their daily walk to end already. When Eliott bumps his shoulder, Lucas looks up and nearly blushes at their close vicinity. 

“Hey, don’t be like that. I’ll share the cookies with you if you want.” His tone, although playful, is soft. Gentle. Welcoming to a fault and Lucas feels his face flushing just from the way Eliott stares at him. 

“S-stupid... who said I wanted cookies.” He mutters and walks into class, leaving a laughing Eliott behind him. 

They share a math class together and ever since Eliott discovered this he made it his goal to sit next to Lucas every chance they got. Using every opportune moment to look over at him and sprout whatever joke that came to him. This usually resulted in snorts of laughter and a healthy dose of blushing and Lucas being forcibly moved to the front of the room. Even though he never instigated it. Because somehow Eliott finds out Lucas likes science. And Eliott finds out he really likes the way Lucas blushes for some reason. 

_“It reminds me of your mother.”_ Lucas pushed at the other’s shoulders and promptly ignored the booming laughter after that reveal. 

“Hey Lucas.”

Lucas looks over, not bothering to hide the exasperation on his face. He does manage to hide his smile. 

“What?”

“If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?”

He snorts despite the stupidity of it. Perhaps it’s because he likes the way Eliott wiggles his eyebrows at him. Or the fact that Eliott smiles when he hears Lucas let out a giggle at the inappropriate jokes. He’s not sure what is happening but Lucas does his best not to read too much into it. Because Eliott doesn’t make it out to be more than what it is. Just him being stupid. 

Stupid and sending mixed signals. 

He’s able to hold it together long enough for the teacher to pass out a worksheet and Eliott has already pushed their desks together in a guise of working together. 

“What are we supposed to be doing?” 

Lucas cocks a brow at Eliott. 

“Solving the equation.” When Eliott gives him a blank stare Lucas huffs and starts his explanation. 

“Manage away the absolute value sign by algebraic methods——”

“You must be a math teacher because you got me harder than calculus.” 

Lucas barks a laugh that turns into a snort before quickly slapping a hand against his mouth. He chances a look up and sees the disapproving glare sent their way. He brings the back of his hand and thumps Eliott on the chest, the other moving with the force of it, cheeky grin in place. 

“Stop! You’re going to get me kicked out of class.” 

“No, you’re going to get yourself kicked out.”

“Mr. Lallemant is there something you’d like to share with the class? Or will you start working and stop bothering Mr. Demaury?” Lucas gapes at his teacher and from his peripheral, sees the slight frown on Eliott’s face, the dip between perfectly shaped brows. His mouth thins and drops open about to say something when Lucas shushes him. 

“Sorry! I’ll get to work.” He tells him kindly before turning to a fuming Eliott. “Just leave it.” He whispers. Lucas turns back to his work feeling unsettled at the whole ordeal. He is simply reminded of the difference between Eliott’s world and Lucas’ world. How everyone outside of the little bubble they’ve created views the two of them.

Eliott the all star of the school and Lucas the quiet nobody. He shouldn’t be surprised but stupidly, he got comfortable. He sets to work quietly, occasionally writing a note in the margins of Eliott’s paper when he sees his partner lost. 

Lucas doesn’t speak again for the rest of the period. When the bell rings he is quick to pack his materials and bolt out of the room. He’s not quite running but he does his best to speed walk down the hall, ignoring the pounding of feet on linoleum right behind him. 

“Shit, Lucas—hey...wait up!” Hands on his shoulders cause him to falter and he turns abruptly, feeling his heart pump fast, chest heave slightly from his rush. 

“Oh, hey. Yeah what’s up?” Eliott looks down at him quizzically. Confused. 

“What the hell was that back there?” 

Lucas looks to the side and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m not sure what you mean. I”ve got class so I was trying to get there.”

“No, I meant, class. What the fuck happened in class. You weren’t bothering me, if anything it’s the other way around. Fuck Mr. Pearson.” Lucas nods and nods and nods. He lets Eliott get the steam out because really, no matter how heated the other boy got nothing would change about the situation. 

“It’s cool. No harm no foul. LookI really do need to get to class.” He tries his best to excuse himself. Doesn’t want to see Eliott anymore than he already does because he’s not sure what he should make of this odd friendship they’ve started where Eliott flirts with no intentions and Lucas laughs but keeps pretending that it means nothing. 

“I’ll walk you.” 

Lucas stares up at him. He has half the mind to say no words already half formed and on the tip of his tongue when Eliott reaches down and grabs the books from out of his hands. 

“What? I can’t walk a friend to class now?” 

No. He couldn’t. Not without an ulterior motive. Not while holding his books so casually. That’s what boyfriends and girlfriends did. That’s what lovers did. Walked holding books and holding hands, and bumping shoulders. But Lucas keeps this to himself. He sets his shoulders and turns to walk. Doesn’t bother to point out every mixed signal Eliott was sending his way. They walk together at a slow pace, with Eliott occasionally muttering something mundane to Lucas and Lucas responds in kind. 

“Are you coming to lunch today?” Eliott asks. Because Lucas has missed it for the last week so far. Lucas is about to answer when he sees Charles walking towards them hands clenched by his side. Lucas swears if glares could kill he’d be six feet under by now. Charles nods in Eliott’s direction and keeps a distance away from them. Lucas knows that if Eliott was not there his face would be meeting the wall intimately as the other shoved him against it. 

The other boy leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Lucas smacks his lips gently. 

“No, I won’t be there. Still have one more day of tutoring to complete and I’ll be a free man once again.”

He hears Eliott laugh at him. 

“I can’t believe you need tutoring for French class. That’s like blasphemy.” Lucas grins up at Eliott and chuckles at his own predicament. 

“Whatever. Have you still been getting those notes?” He watches the way Eliott’s eyes soften and the lines on his face smooth as he thinks about something that Lucas can’t see. 

“Yeah. I have.” Lucas swallowed thickly at the tone. Tender as he spoke. There was no competition. 

“How ‘bout you skip tutoring today. I’ll pick you up from class and walk with you to lunch!” ELiott turns those grey blue eyes on him and Lucas’ mouth dries up and he forgets the word no. 

“F-fine but you’re going to have to explain this because I’m not going to.” He scowls as Eliott hands over the books, a smile breaking out over his face, his laughter lines deep. 

“Deal. I’ll see you at lunch.” He walks backwards, eyes kept on Lucas’ smaller form. It isn’t until Lucas gives a confirmation nod that Eliott turns mid-trot and disappears down the hall just as the passing bell rings. 

Lucas shakes head fondly at the thought of the other. Lucas doesn’t know how he got himself in this mess. How he is supposed to get himself out. He’d done well since the sixth grade, keeping his distance, keeping himself hidden. All that hard work, all of his attempts of passing unseen by Eliott is all flushed down the drain due to this secret admirer. Lucas doesn’t know if he should thank them or hate them. He doesn’t get an answer in his English class, that’s for sure. 

______

“What did you tell her?” 

Eliott grins slyly. “That I needed some extra tutoring for math before our test this Friday. To maintain my grade so I can play in the away game.” 

Of course he did. Lucas sighs. And of course she deemed it more important for Eliott to pass math than it was for Lucas to pass French. He doesn’t turn when Eliott nudges his shoulders but his lips quirk just the slightest. 

“Don’t worry. I promise, I’ll get you to pass French class.” Lucas isn’t quite sure but he thinks the other’s voice dips an octave. That he rolls the words in his mouth before he spits it out and something about it just licks at Lucas and he feels faint. 

“If you say so.” He mutters. They make it to the lunchroom, grabs his lunch before it fills. Eliott’s crowd already forming. He still feels uneasy when he catches the look on Charles face. A look that he labels as disgust. Mixed with a little hate. He’s not sure what he did to earn it. But Lucas’ preservation instincts tell him not to ask. 

“Hey Lallemant!” Lucas turns to look at Emma as he gets closer to their table. He nods his head and waves at Imane and Manon who smile kindly at him. The other’s not yet seated. 

“Too good for us now? I see how you’ve joined Demaury’s ranks.” Lucas looks up at the heavens and prays for the patience to handle Emma on her good days. He feels a fry hit his face and he flinches at the contact. Lucas looks to the floor to glare at the limp piece of potato. 

“Sorry ladies, I didn’t mean to steal your man, but he’s been helping me sort some of my problems. Lucas feels the heat of Eliott behind him and does his best to school his face. Those fingers gripped his shoulders with a hidden strength. Not bruising, but enough to leave a mark he is sure. “When he’s done I’ll return him!” 

At those words, he tenses. Because that is true. Once this winds down and Eliott finds his girl, there won’t be a place for him at that overly crowded table. Maybe class time with Eliott would be spent watching the other boy text her, sharing words of love and singing each other’s praises. His walk to and from class will be lonely again. He’d carry his own books. Lucas would have no one to give cookies to and have it mean _something._

“Aw, Eliott you sure you don’t want to keep him? Don’t know what you’ll be missing.” Lucas looks at Imane and wants so badly to tell her to keep her mouth shut. Because what was she even sprouting? What was she trying to do by saying something that sounded so...intimate. 

Of course his words fail him. He says nothing despite the glint he sees in her eyes. That knowing look she sends his way. He feels a tug on his arm and moves with Eliott to their table. 

“We shall see about that ladies.” Lucas waves a quick goodbye and sits next to Eliott. He watches as Eliott greets his friends and waits for their attention. Money is passed around though silently and the boys all have smirks on their faces as they await the reading of the note. Lucas wants to stuff his fingers down his throat and barf.

He has, until this moment been lucky enough to miss every single reading of these notes. He was hoping he would miss them all. He doesn’t always get his wishes granted though. Something he’s learned early in life. 

Eliott passes the note to Sofiane and the boys sit around and wait, energy thrumming through them. Lucas watches as the kind eyes of Sofiane scan the note first, frowning at the content. 

“Have you read this yet?” The curly haired boy directs the question at Eliott, to which Eliott shakes his head. 

“Not yet, but it’s cool, you can read it.” 

Sofiane looks ready to protest but he clears his throat and starts to read.

> _Your kindness is incomparable. Did you know this of yourself? You're mischievous but loving and you are too cruel to yourself on most days. I notice it… I notice when you break and mend yourself. I know when you put others before. I know when you fight to be selfish. With me, you could stop fighting. You could be anything and I would always be there. Eliott I would take things with you day by day. Minute by minute. But your kindness and your love. Your selfishness and your mischief. You highs and your lows. They never were mine._

“Eliott. I really think this person is serious. This girl of yours.”

Sofiane sounds uncomfortable. Sounds like he wants to stop. He holds the letter in slightly trembling hands, eyes darting between Eliott and Lucas who, for all intents and purposes looks like he was going to throw up. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t read any future notes.” 

“But you have such a romantic voice, Sof.” Alex laughs as Sofiane rolls his eyes at him. 

Eliott on the other hand sits at the table, cheek held up by his hands and steel eyes contemplative. 

“What if you reading this gets them to eventually come and confess to me though?” Eliott nudges Lucas. 

“Isn’t that what you said it would do? That they would see I’m interested and they’d get some confidence.”

“I..I-—yes but..”

“Lucas?” Eliott sits up straight then leans closer to the shorter boy. Concern becoming deep grooves between his brows. 

“W—What?” Lucas turns wide— blown eyes in Eliott’s direction. Then quickly back at Sofiane and suddenly the cafeteria table feels far too crowded. 

“I need to go.” It’s a quick shift from comfortable to uncomfortable. 

“Wait. Lucas. Where are you going?”

“Hm?” Gathering his materials never felt like such a chore until this moment. And really there was only his tray of uneaten lunch and his bag that sits innocently on the floor. He ignores Eliott as he calls after him, ignores how Daphne shouts out if he’s okay and completely ignores Imane’s and Emma’s worried glance. 

He runs to his locker, fumbles with the locks and pulls it open in haste as the words echoed in his head in Sofiane’s soft voice. 

How had he missed it? How had he not heard those words before? Each and every time the letters were read, by what divine intervention did he miraculous miss everything up until this point. 

Like a fucking idiot.

He shoves his textbooks into his bag and moves to leave school early, uncaring that he still had half a day left. He tries to sneak out the side doors, mind running away from him. He rushes out the doors of the school uncaring that he is skipping. 

Lucas hops on a bus. He holds his phone in one hand, the other, gripping tightly at the metal pole that does little to center him. Lucas gnaws roughly on his bottom lip. His breathing feels shallow, like he’s not getting enough oxygen but he pays little attention to the burning need as his blue eyes keep a strict gaze on the moving surroundings. He wonders if he should text Yann. Text the boys. Text someone. Ask for help because Lucas feels like he doesn’t know where he is or where is going despite having only one destination in mind. 

Where? 

It takes him twenty minutes to get home. Twenty long and grueling minutes before he hops off the bus and makes the short trek from the stop to his house. He fumbles with the keys, hands shaking missing the lock. 

“Fuck!” He slams his fist on the door after the third attempt and still he finds himself stuck outside. His hands move to grip his hair, pulling and tugging tightly. Lucas closes his eyes and breathes in deep. His chest expanding with each breath and though he doesn’t quite feel that calm yet, he is able to fit the key into the lock and get in. 

Lucas darts up to his room, knowing no one was home yet, and not really caring to greet anyone even if they were. Not in his state at least. He tosses his bag on the bed and is quick to throw open his closet. Lucas pushes the shirts and pants hanging to the side. Over turns a crate and stands on it. His hand reaches into the darkness touching and brushing against the dusty shelf. 

Where was it?

His fingers slide against the grit of emptiness and he feels his heart falter. It wasn’t there. His journal wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Hidden in the back of his closet. Away from prying eyes. Lucas slams his hand against his closet door as he pulls away because a pile of dust was meaningless to him. 

Who took his journal? He feels the tall-tale sign of tears burning their way down his cheeks at the thought that someone would do this to him. Someone would take his words and share it to the world like it was okay. Share it with Eliott.

Were all the notes from him this entire time? His heart poured out for those bastards to make bets on. He feels shame and embarrassment blossom in his chest and Lucas chokes back a sob. He pulls out his phone. Fingers shaking and tears dripping onto the screen, blurring the text. 

He wipes at his face, sniffles and tries again.

> _Did you do this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No but seriously. Leave a comment telling who you think it is. Tell me have you figured out the plot of this story yet? What happened to our boy Lucas? 
> 
> I wanna know if anyone guessed righhhhttt


	5. Please Never Look Away So That I Might Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas clenches his eyes as panic sets up a tea party in his stomach. Telling him it was there to stay. For a while at least. He barely makes it out the double doors and halfway across the green of the school when he feels arms wrap tightly around his waist pinning his arms and he's falling forward. Lucas turns his face and clenches his teeth and closes his eyes preparing for impact but it never comes. A heartbeat later and the arms have yet to loosen. When Lucas opens his eyes slowly, he blinks up at the sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the final chapter. I lightly edited this monster. 12k.  
> Here's my disclaimer: Not everything is addressed and just have fun with it! I hope you enjoy. Healthy dose of swearing and italics for you to shift through. 
> 
> This ONE is for @briallen who legit sat through this with me, cheering me on, while I wrote this bad boy. I went through a lot of crazy what the fuck moments while writing. Sigh. Thanks for being a doll!
> 
> oh, and there are pov shifts. fuck grammar and tenses and writing...i'm bad at it haha

_Did you do this?_

Lucas rubs his face and looks around his room feeling a disconnect that he can’t explain away. His heart thumps in his chest and he jumps when his phone vibrates in his grip. Once.Twice. And a third time. 

He opens his mouth and breathes out. Air escaping him desperately. He works up the courage to look at the text. 

**Yann**  
_do what?_

**Yann**  
_Dude, where ru?_

**Yann**  
_Imane said you ran out at lunch and you weren’t in class r u ok?_

Lucas finds his breath stuttering as he read Yann’s concern and a weight lifts from his chest. There was no way Yann would do this to him. He wouldn’t break his trust like that. Just as he was about to respond, his phone lights up and Yann’s face pops up on his screen, signaling an incoming call. 

“Hey.” Lucas isn’t ready for the barrage of concern from the other on the phone and he is sure he hears Basille and Arthur in the background shouting questions at him as well. He chuckles despite his state. 

_“Lucas, where are you?”_

He swallows thickly. Feeling that panic, digging its claws in again as he blinks back a fresh wave of tears. 

“At home.” He manages to croak out. He hears Yann’s steady breath coming out to fill the seconds of silence. It seems the other boy wants to ask. He wants to pose the question but isn’t sure if he should so Lucas takes the weight off of Yann’s shoulders and speaks an answer. 

“I finally heard a letter, Alaoui was reading it.”

Silence. 

“Yann… s-someone… and i-it was.... ” He trails off finding it harder and harder to form a sentence as a storm brewed inside him, flooding his senses. _“Fuck.”_

“Yann, those were _my words_. My _thoughts_. My _feelings_. How did they get it?” He chokes, bringing a fist to his mouth as he bites down on his knuckles. His eyes bunch up tighter to block out the sudden brightness all around him. He feels hysterical. 

_“Lulu I need you to sit tight for me. We’re gonna come get you okay?”_ He nods his head but doesn’t open his eyes. 

_“Don’t move, okay. I’m going to hand the phone over to Basile and he’s going to talk to you. I’ll be there in 20.”_

Lucas nods again, "...okay, doors unlocked" he says and lets out a harsh breath in answer. 

_"Hey man! You good? Arthur says hi—"_ and for twenty minutes Lucas listens to Bas ramble on and on about one thing or another. 

His chuckles are watery and lackluster but he appreciates Bas and his ability to sprout nonsense to fill the silence more than ever. Because he doesn't leave Lucas to his own thoughts for a second too long. He talks and asks questions without waiting for answers.

And he does so until Lucas hears the knock at the door and the creak of the hinges signaling Yann's arrival. 

Lucas can still hear Basile's distinct rambling all half static and full on enthusiastic. Lucas looks up from his spot on the floor. Legs bent up at the knees and back leaning against his bed frame. 

He is sitting on the floor when the door to his room flies open and Yann is suddenly there, frame taking up the entire frame. Eyes roving and catching his and Lucas read relief on his face. Yann takes two, three steps, before he plops down next to Lucas, mimicking his body language right down to the crossed ankles. 

When Yann holds up a hand Lucas responds by passing his phone over to his friend. 

"Bas," Yann sounds weary. Age old like the weight of the world was crushing him. 

_"Oh you're there, that was fast! Good…good luck man!"_

And there's the click and the screen glows black. 

When Lucas brings his eyes to meet Yann's concerned brown gaze, he nearly breaks. 

"What happened?" So Lucas tells him. He plays out the absolute fear that ate up his voice and made him run and book it out of the school. Away from the situation. How angry and confused he felt when he heard the words spoken in a false imitation of him in the form of Sofiane Alaoui. 

"Who would do this?" He mumbles into his folded arms. And for a while the both of them are silent. Stewing in thoughts that led nowhere. 

"Maybe…" and Lucas turns to look at his friend who looks like he's bitten into a lemon; face pinched and lips pursed. 

"Maybe you should tell Demaury how you feel. Tell him the truth, Lucas, this could be your chance." 

And Lucas feels like Yann has gone crazy in sprouting his thoughts like they made any sense. 

"In case you didn't hear me the first time— someone is already doing that for me. Someone stole my journal and threw my feelings into his face without my knowing for the last month or so, Yann."

"Yes, but Eliott doesn't know that! Maybe this person, whoever it is, was just trying to give you the push you need"

"I don't need a push!"

" _Yes_ , you do! You've been in love with the boy since 6th grade! And not once did you have a serious conversation, actually talk, _talk_ to him until this whole thing started." 

And the way Yann yells shuts Lucas up. Because Yann rarely raises his voice. 

"I've been telling you this for years…" and Yann sounds defeated. And he knows Yann is just looking out for him. That his friend doesn't want him to hurt. 

Lucas knows Yann would do anything for him. Even if it means seeing the silver lining in his shitty situation. 

Lucas huffs and looks up at his ceiling, breathing in deeply. 

"It was my crush to hold onto. Mine to confess and mine to hide. However I deemed fit and whoever this person is—however they got a hold of my journal— they had no right."

Yann shakes his head. "No. They didn't…" 

Lucas shakes his head and slaps his cheeks silly until he feels cleared enough to come.up with a solution rather than wallowing. He could deal with the dumbass that decided this would be a great prank to play later. 

He feels a hand on his shoulder and Lucas reaches and laces his fingers with Yann's, glad for the support. 

"He thinks it's a girl. They all do." 

"Well...shit." 

Lucas snorts. Because that is exactly how he feels. Like shit couldn't get worse. 

Sitting there in his room, together with Yann, in the middle of the day Lucas can practically hear the way Yann’s cogs work to help him come up with a solution. 

“I don’t even know if he likes boys, dude. He’s only ever dated girls from what I can remember.” Yann sniggers and Lucas pushes at his shoulders. Because Lucas down plays it but they both know Lucas remembers every girl Eliott has “dated”. Ever the gentleman walking his girlfriends down the halls and holding their books. Bending and dropping kisses on their foreheads just outside the classroom door. Lucas has caught sight of these moments far too many times. 

And maybe they have been the source of his fantasies for far too long. Especially those moments Eliott would share with his last girlfriend, Lucille. Moments of pure happiness that the two of them didn’t think twice about before shoving down the throats of those around them. Lucas spent his nights mentally photo shopping Lucille out and replacing her with himself. 

He lets out a lovesick sigh trying to get his thinking back on track. He slaps Yann on the arm and the boy frowns at him but gives him his full attention anyway.

“What if, I don’t know, what if a note reveals the gender of the admirer. And I could try to see what his reaction is like? And if he’s okay with it I can be honest. I can tell him the truth?” 

Yann looks at him wearily, eyes shifted to the side and mouth pressed in a fine line. 

“Maybe you should just ask him, I don’t know if continuing with the notes is a good idea.” 

Lucas knows Yann has a point. The notes are what got him mixed up in this mess in the first place. But what if, that someone who found his journal, was someone lonely who took his thoughts and feelings and tried to pass it off as their own. How does he take this back without telling Eliott how he really feels.

Because Lucas and Eliott are just starting to be friends. Barely that maybe. Sure Eliott accompanies him to class, might carry his books once in a while. They joke but Lucas knows this is nothing beyond acquaintances because their “friendship” doesn’t extend outside the four walls of their school. And Eliott has no idea that Lucas harbors feelings for him. 

Has for however many years now. Lucas doesn’t want to destroy what little flicker of flame that he’s just now finally gotten to light. If anything, he’d thank whatever asshole who stole his journal for that at least. 

He’s about to say something when his phone buzzes and he looks down at the screen only to see Eliott calling. He shoots Yann a panicked look and Yann gestures wildly for him to pick it up. He swallows the fear and looks up at his ceiling for courage, listening to the quiet buzzing of his phone. 

“I swear to god Lucas if you don’t pick tha—”

“Hello?” Lucas squeaks and he only wishes for the floor to swallow him whole. He clears his throat and shoots Yann a grimace. His dark skinned friend settles next to him, ear pressed close to the phone trying his best to listen in. 

_“Lucas?”_

“Hey, Eliott. What’s, ah, what’s up?”Lucas folds his legs into a pretzel and nudges at Yann to give him some space. His fingers toy with his shoelaces in a nervous fashion. 

_“Are you okay? You ran out so fast and you skipped classes— I just wanted to make sure you're good.”_

Yann shoots him a thumbs up and wiggles his brows in encouragement. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. I just felt really sick. You didn’t have to call, thanks though.” Eliott answers with a soft chuckle, a sound that pulls at his heart strings and makes him melt and he can practically see the smile light up that face. He responds with a smile that he knows Eliott can’t see and when Yann breaks out into a grin, Lucas slaps his face away. 

_“Nah it’s cool, that’s what friends do.”_

Friends. Lucas visibly deflates and he sees Yann biting at his lips. He caught that too. 

_"So, what… what did you think of the note?"_ And Lucas really wants to laugh, wants to find humor in this fucked up situation. 

"What did I think? I think they— " he tries to find the words. "— have really strong feelings for you. I think they spent," he clears his throat feeling it close on him, " a lot of time watching you. Like...like they've known you for a long time." 

Lucas continues pulling on his shoelaces and ignoring the pointed look Yann sends his way.

 _"Yeah? You think she's someone close to me?"_ At this Lucas does chuckle and he tries to not let the bitterness bleed through. A long time. Years even. Years spent watching but too afraid to make a move. To voice feelings in the case of making them real and more than simply words constructed on paper. 

"Still stuck on it being a girl I hear…"

 _"Call it a gut feeling."_ Lucas wants to tell Eliott his gut feeling is shit right then and there but he bites his lip despite Yann sitting next to him mouthing "ask him you fucking idiot".

But Lucas is scared of the answer. He's not as strong as he'd like others to think and he finds it hard to utter the words. 

"Right, gut feeling, sounds like you have all the faith in your gut."

_"Hasn't failed me yet."_

It's about to, he wants to say. 

"Hey, I'm gonna let you go, think I need to get some sleep to feel better."

_"Yeah... get some rest."_

"Thanks for checking in." Lucas is completely aware he's the one that said he wanted to hang up but he struggles with actually _wanting_ to say goodbye. When Eliott laughs into the phone and the sound comes through, Lucas feels like floating. His pulse jumps rapidly.

 _"...mm-hm…anytime."_ Lucas doesn't respond but he grows quiet and waits until the silence leaves Eliott thinking he's already hung up. He listens to the muffled sounds, a quiet sigh meant for dead space to hear, before Eliott finally hangs up. 

When he puts the phone down Lucas doesn't feel good. He feels like his heart is in his stomach and shame washes over him. He slouches to the side and rests his forehead on Yann's shoulders. 

"Tomorrow. I'll leave him the note tomorrow." Yann doesn't say anything but Lucas wishes he would. Because at this point, Lucas kind of wishes tomorrow doesn't come.

*

When the morning bell rings at 7:45 am Lucas is already counting down the hours. Has been since Yann left the day before, after he made sure Lucas was well enough, calmed and collected.

He rolled his eyes and thanked his friend with a hug before pushing him gently out the door long before his mother got home from work. He didn't want to explain why both Yann and him were skipping school. A story of both of them missing out on afternoon classes would be harder to keep straight than just a simple 'I wasn't feeling well'

But mama Lallemant left Lucas to his own thoughts when she got home and Lucas spent the rest of his evening playing the conversation with Eliott over and over again in his head instead of sleeping.

He feels on edge when he gets to school and it doesn't help that his stomach does flips when he sees Eliott waiting for him at his locker. 

He's immediately pulled into a farce of a one armed hug and he feels the coils of muscle wrap around his neck. The heat of skin on skin pulls him in and Lucas finds his forehead being forced against Eliott’s chin. Lucas feels his face heat and a blush chases every inch of his face until satisfied. 

"You feel normal. A little warm but nothing out of the ordinary." 

Lucas can't focus on anything but the way Eliott's chin moves as he speaks. Or the way those long fingers grip the back of his head, weaving into his hair and holding him in place. Lucas brings his arm up and gently pushes at the other until Eliott lets him go and Lucas is greeted with a wide smile and warm eyes. 

Lucas blinks and looks to the side, throws his locker open and hides behind the open door, doing his best to escape that gaze that he is weak too. He clears his throat. 

"What are you doing?"

"Checking your temp," Eliott states matter of fact. He steps to the side and Lucas is thankful for the extra space placed between them. 

"Can't have you running out on me again, you know?" And maybe it's the way he says it but Lucas and his brain paint the tone as worried. As if he was concerned for Lucas and the thought of that lights a flame inside him. Lucas bites his cheek and swallows his tongue lest he say something utterly stupid. He says nothing instead. 

Lucas grabs his books and Eliott takes them from him, almost like a habit. These little moments, with books held under one arm and face giving away nothing but a fine, fine _normal_ Lucas feels his breathing grow faint with a longing for it to be just that. Normal. 

"So, you have practice today?"

Eliott walks next to his stride confidence.

“I do. Why, you planning on stopping by?” Lucas stumbles back slightly when Eliott stoops low, body twisted, so that they are face to face and Lucas is forced to stop walking because time shows down, speeds up, ceases to exist in this particular moment. And there is a split second where he feels that puff of air caress his lips as they stand just that close. Blue grey eyes flicker down to look at Lucas' parted lips and Lucas knew if he didn't stop moving, just kept going, they might've collided so perfectly. But they don't. Eliott straightens and laughs when Lucas goes cross-eyed and he does stop himself before he collides into Eliott. The answering laugh has his heart doing flip flops. He scowls and focuses his gaze on the floor in front of him. 

“Why on earth would I visit you during practice?”

He could think of a few reasons. To be honest. 

“Don’t know, you’d have to ask some of the girls who show up. Maybe it has something to do with what we wear during practice.” Lucas bites his lips at the way Eliott throws this out so casually. By the way he says it Lucas knows Eliott _knows_ this is the reason but somehow the taller brunette sounds like a ball of confidence and confusion all rolled into one. His smirk, however, becomes his tell and Lucas all but huffs a laugh all soft and quiet. 

“What? Your tight jerseys attract too much attention?” 

“You assume we wear our jersey’s to practice?” Lucas feels his face grow red at the image of the entire rugby team dressed only in their thick cotton shorts and sporting nothing but glistening sweat on their chiseled bodies. 

Eliott wiggles his eyebrows like he knows exactly what Lucas is imagining and all Lucas can do is use his hand to roughly push the boy’s face away. He ignores the puff of air that accompanies Eliott’s laughter, tickling the spaces between his fingers. 

“You’re so shameless.” And like clockwork, Lucas enters the classroom alone to avoid the mess that was his feelings for the boy behind him.

Eliott entered after him and for a moment, Lucas felt like things were normal. Like it could be normal if he willed it but one glance up at the clock has him biting his lips and willing time to stop for him. 

And he feels like that for the rest of the day. He smiles at Eliott’s god awful jokes and plays the role of teacher as he helps Eliott work through mathematical equations. He dodges all the well aimed crumpled paper scraps that Eliott throws at him when the real teacher isn’t looking. Lucas throws Eliott exasperated looks each time the other boy writes on his paper, fixes the ways he writes his ‘e’ and crosses Lucas’ ‘t’ because, 

_“You notice how you never connect your e’s correctly and never fully cross your t’s. Heathen.”_

And Lucas takes “heathen” as a compliment because Eliott would follow it up with a breathless chuckle. It’s unfortunate how fond he feels at these little acts and from the way Eliott smiles, a light in his eyes and a small stretch of his lip, he is aware that Lucas would have him no other way. 

When lunch rolls around he sits with the boys. Looks up at the heavens and shakes his head at the puppy eyes Eliott shoots his way. Because really he wasn't sure where he got the will to resist such a look. It's that single look that has him deeming Eliott evil as the boy tries to guilt him for making such a choice. 

Lucas needs the distance to keep his head clear. The boys provide little comfort, what with Arthur meekly eating a packed lunch and Yann occasionally looking up from tapping away at his phone to shoot Lucas, a look that screamed "don't do it." Quite frankly the only person who provided a semblance of normal so far was Bas who halfheartedly launched applesauce at the empty table next to them. 

“You okay there Bas?” Lucas places his chin on the dip that his outstretched arms created as he pressed them together. His lunch tray pushed to the side half eaten. Lucas traces the trajectory of the apple sauce and when a glob plops on the surface of the other table, Bas silently cheers his success. 

The unadulterated happiness causes a smile to bloom on Lucas' face. Bas settles himself before he turns to the other three, grin still in place. His hazel eyes roam over the angles of Lucas’ face and Lucas sits still under the scrutiny. 

“Me? I’m fine. I’m not the one hiding secrets.” 

And all at once Lucas sits up feeling alarmed. In front of him Yann and Arthur both struggle through broken words and cats that have stolen their tongues. 

“W-what?No, B-Bas. No one is hiding anything, w-we ju— ”

Bas waves away Arthur’s stuttering and takes a bite of his cold pizza unperturbed. Lucas grimaces when he proceeds to talk while chewing. 

“Oh shove off, I’m not stupid. All of you look like you’re about to attend a funeral and Yann’s doing that— talking with the eyes thing— honestly it’s cool. I don’t want to know.” 

He takes another bite, eyebrows raised high and smile unwavering. 

“I’ll just be here for the fallout. That’s what friends are for.”He shrugs like it’s the most obvious thing but Lucas feels queasy. A sinking feeling whispers at his nerve endings and he doesn’t want to think of what’s not being said. 

That a fallout was inevitable. He looks away from his stammering friends, a palm slapped across his lips not because he doesn’t want to tell Bas. But because he doesn’t know how to make sense of the situation verbally.

He feels awful. Lucas turns his gaze towards Eliott’s table and is surprised to see the tall jock staring right back at him, sitting in a position not so different from his own. A palm and perfectly crooked fingers slapped against his own face. Blue speckled eyes stare at him and Lucas is glad his hand hides his blush from the intensity of Eliott’s gaze. 

Eliott lifts a hand in greeting and from the way his eyes crinkle and those laughter lines become more prominent, Lucas can tell he’s smiling that deep smile of his. Lucas swallows his heart down and lifts his hand to wave back. He just has to wait. 

Lucas waits and waits and waits. Waits so long for the school to be empty. He’s been asked at least four times by three different teachers what he was doing in the school after hours. He wasn’t sure they were buying his excuses anymore. 

He couldn’t exactly say he was just waiting for all human existence to exit the building, this included the Rugby team—and dare he say it was imperative for his mission to work. He needed them gone.

_I’m a boy._

He reads the note again. 

His patience pays off as he looks out at the fields and finds it empty and glowing in the light of the setting sun. Not a person was to be seen. He must be the last person on campus so he lets out a relieved sigh and heads towards the boys locker room. He can’t help but feel an uncomfortable feeling settle over him at the dark hallways. The doors are thick and heavy and he grunts as he pushes them open. He rushes over to the locker that he knows belongs to Eliott and looks back down at the note crumpled in his hands. 

I’m a boy. 

He’s not sure what makes him want to clear things up, but only to a certain extent, with Eliott. It bothered him more that Eliott thought he was a girl than it did that Eliott didn’t know who those love notes were coming from.

Granted, the notes weren’t coming from him. Technically. He didn’t write them. He doesn’t know who or how it’s happening. But he’s too far gone and invested to inform Eliott that there was an impostor using his words to woo the taller boy. 

So of course, naturally, his only way to rectify the wrong being done to him is to inform his fucking crushㅡ that he hates and loves simultaneouslyㅡ that his secret admirer was a boy. So Lucas approached the locker with trepidation. Folded the note in quarters as he's seen in the lunchroom and did his best to cram the three little words into the exposed vents. He's not careful against the razor edge but he disregards it all as he continues to wedge the note in. When he sees just a sad corner sticking out Lucas makes quick with his fingers. 

_"Lucas?"_

Lucas jumps as the voice echoes loud and clear, bouncing off the metal of the lockers. His fingers catch the edge and the biting burn as he sliced his fingers open caused him to yelp.

But Lucas pays no attention to that as he turns trying to hide his fingers behind his back. He tries even harder at not appearing startled but he's sure his eyes are wide, lips parted and pulse jumping so hard and fast that Eliott could see it from where he stands half hidden in the shadow.

"E-Eliott? What are you doing here?" _I thought you left._ Shit. He was fucked. The taller boy approaches slowly, eyes narrowed and glinting in the darkness of the locker room. 

"What do you have there?" 

Lucas wonders if he pretends he doesn't hear the question, can he possibly get away with not answering. But there is a heat in Eliott's gaze, a hardened flash that Lucas wants to blame on the lighting of the room but he thinks it might be something else that riles the boy. 

He feels bile rise at the back of his throat as his pulse continues to jump. At the thought that those eyes and that gaze was directed at him.

Eliott looks dangerous. Dangerous and angry in his sweat dampened jersey and skin tight shorts hugging bruised up thighs. His hair is in a state of disarray and Lucas, under other circumstances, might have given into the urge to bring notice to it. Joke around nonchalantly and use his fingers to ruffle it up even more. 

He flexes his fingers behind his back and winces when he feels the cut open and pull with his movements. 

Lucas feels the fool as his mouth opens and closes uncooperative and spewing nothing as Eliott is slow in his advance. The taller of the two tilts his head, narrows those blue gray eyes and Lucas feels almost scared to breathe. His breath leaves his chest like a stutter and he fights to swallow down his nerves. 

But Lucas doesn't collect himself quick enough and before he can straighten himself Eliott stands, tall and towering and Lucas is consumed by his shadow. Lucas has to tilt his head to maintain eye contact but he is overwhelmed by the absolute height he faces, standing less than a foot away. 

Lucas feels dizzy at the heat Eliott radiates. Feels it through his shirt; can practically taste it on his tongue as he licks his lips nervously. 

Lucas is weak to stop him, letting out a strangled noise of protest that resembles no words in the dictionary as Eliott reaches behind him and pries the note from his grip. 

It doesn't take more than a second. No more than the time it takes for Lucas to take a breath for Eliott's face to morph from confusion, to anger, to a hurt that makes Lucas want to curl up on himself and that feeling of wanting to throw up comes back full force. 

"It's not, I- well, it's really not what your th-"

The rough slam of a palm against the locker right next to his ear causes Lucas to jump, surprised and he swallows his words. 

_"What the fuck am I thinking?"_

Eliott doesn't just sound angry and he doesn't just look hurt. Lucas reads the frown on his face and dip of his brows and those narrowed eyes as him feeling livid. The clench of his fingers, the crinkling of the note, and the grind of his teeth spell out betrayal. 

And Lucas wants to scream "I'm right there with you! I understand!" 

"I know how this looks, just let me explain." 

Lucas feels a sense or urgency fill his chest cavity. A need, one that he wishes he had before trying to go through with this idea of his, that has him thinking that if he doesn't clear things up now he'd never get that chance. 

Not with his own words. 

But Eliott is smiling at him and the look of it is wrong and unsightly. Like it doesn't belong on his face. All twisted and it ties Lucas' stomach into knots. 

"Explain what? That it was you all along? I think that's self explanatory, Lucas!" Eliott growls his name out like it's poison and it causes something painful to blossom in his chest. His hand pushes Lucas harshly and Lucas hisses when his back meets the cold metal. 

But it's not, he wants to say. 

"N-no you're not liste—" Lucas stutters around his words. Tongue-tied and feeling frustration building because Eliott didn't want to listen. 

" _Oh?_ Wait, you did this for what? Did you have fun sitting with the cool kids for once? Your loser ass soaked that shit up like _candy?_ " 

Lucas feels his vision go white hot and he clenches his teeth unable to rationalize that Eliott is just angry; that he's just hurt. Lucas narrows his eyes and he takes in the vision that is Eliott. Face cut up in angles of shadow and light that filters in from the high window. 

"Did you think this would make for a good laugh? You're fucking pathetic."

Lucas smiles and bares his teeth. 

"It was fucking _hilarious!_ " 

_No, I don't mean that._

"Who would have thought, _the_ fucking Demaury would be stupid enough to fall for dumbass _love_ notes. I mean—" 

_Stop that._

"—what century are we living in? And _I'm pathetic?_ " 

_I don't mean any of it._

Eliott fists the front of his shirt and in a show of strength lifts and slams Lucas back against the locker and Lucas feels his head swim at the impact. 

He's used to this. Used to not having a voice and not being listened to. Used to being rough handled and treated like a ragdoll. Lucas is familiar with this feeling. 

"Get the fuck out of here and stay out of my way, or you'll fucking regret it Lallemant." 

Familiar with those words. But coming from _Eliott_ , it hurts. 

It hurts so much too and felt like Eliott might as well be clenching at his heart instead. Eliott drops him and Lucas doesn't realize his legs have gone soft on him and he crumples to the floor. His previous anger was already seeping out of him and into the ground. 

He doesn't think twice about scrambling away and making a run for the door. He ignores as Eliott shouted _"coward"_ and runs through the empty halls. 

His thoughts clouded as his feet hit linoleum. Images of Eliott laughing and smiling and joking. Walking him to his class and holding his books. It chases him.

Kind smile and warm eyes replaced by that deep sense of sadness that Lucas knows he saw in speckled blue. 

All of it gone. He fucked up so bad. Lucas clenches his eyes tightly and swears at how he let that situation completely derail. He could have kept his calm. Been a little more understanding. 

It was a big shock after all, finding Lucas there trying to shove a note into his locker. But what Eliott said...Lucas couldn’t forget the way he sounded even if he wanted to. Vaguely he hears his name being called but he doesn’t stop running.

Lucas runs out of the school with no destination in mind. He doesn’t quite want to go home despite the setting sun but definitely knows he doesn’t want to stay at school. When he’s a safe distance away he phones Yann feeling beyond helpless. Yann is quick to respond, letting him know that Arthur was with him. Lucas doesn’t mind. He sends his mother a text that he was staying over at Yann’s so he wouldn’t be home. 

She sends him back a smiley face but doesn’t ask questions. Lucas is grateful for her laissez faire approach for once. He makes quick work at getting to Yann’s place, luckily his best friend lives close to the school. He navigates the inroads easily, having taken the path on multiple occasions. When he arrives Yann and Arthur are already waiting for him on his porch. The two of them looked somber. 

That knot that was present since he woke, since lunch, since Eliott told him to leave, comes back full swing and Lucas bounces his gaze between his two friends. 

“Hey LuLu.” 

“W-what? Dude what’s going on.” Lucas asks the two, but neither say anything to him. He feels like his world is spinning so fast yet he remains stationary. 

“Everything go well with Eliott?” Yann asks. Lucas shuts his eyes and he bends, bracing his sweaty palms on his jeans. He lets out a deep breath and a whine from the back of his throat. He shakes his head. 

“I really fucked up.” And he retells the story, repeats words that he wished wasn’t his. But they were. His face displays the anger he felt at himself. At Eliott. And Lucas has to move to sit down on the porch swing, bringing his head to rest in his hands. 

“Now, not only does he think I was sending him love notes all along, he thinks I was doing this as a fucking joke.” He has no one else but himself to blame for that one. 

“This,” his voice cracks. “This is _all_ my fault.”

“Lucas…”

When he looks up at Arthur and Yann he sees the way Arthur bites his lips right hand holding his left arm behind his back, face pale. Lucas tries hard to place the look and when he names it in his head, Lucas feels things fall into place and he looks over at Yann in hopes things might just be denied. 

Guilt.

“What’s going on with you two?” The question comes out harsher than he expects. But the looks put him on edge and he just wants shit to stop hitting the fan. 

“It was us...w-we took your journal.W-we wrote those notes to Eliott.” 

Lucas feels his vision bleed black and he doesn’t quite make out the words Arthur is still saying but his gaze remains locked on his lips, watching him speak without hearing anything. His world grows intensely quiet all at once and when he stands and stumbles slightly Yann moves to catch him but Lucas pushes him off, slapping away his hands. 

He moves down the stairs in the dim light of evening and that silent rush bleeds back into sound when he’s near the street. Yann and Arthur run after him and shout for him to stop. 

“Lucas please listen.” He turns and musters up as much anger as he can feel in his little beating heart and lets it morph into his words. 

“Fuck off. You guys can just fuck off— _you had no right_ ” Because those were his words, his feelings, his and no one else's. 

“We know, please just….we can’t just leave you out here. It’s late” 

“Yeah well, I’m calling on my debt. So leave me the _fuck_ alone.”

He leaves ignoring how he still heard the running feet behind him and their alarmed voices. 

Everyone could just fuck off. Lucas feels his throat tighten and that familiar burn in his eyes. When he does make it home— the walk a complete blur— his mother says nothing about how he slams the door and stomps up the stairs. But when he lays down in his bed faced down, the events of the day catch up to him and he soaks his pillow. His door creaks open and his bed dips. 

He feels the curl of fingers running through his hair and his boiling emotions immediately come to a simmer.

His mother says nothing and he lets her love soothe him into a restless sleep.

*

Eliott sinks down on the bench. His fingers clenched tightly but he gets no satisfaction from hearing the note crinkle nor from the feel of it balling up under the pressure of his fist. Eliott shakes himself and closes his eyes, throws his head back and extends his neck breathing in deeply. He tries to wrap his thoughts around what just happened. Tries to pinpoint a feeling but fails to.

Eliott doesn’t hear it until it’s too late and he jumps slightly when Idriss calls out; voice loud in the otherwise silent locker room. 

“Hey E, did I just see Lallemant running out of here like the devil’s chasing him.” 

“Is everything okay?” 

Eliott doesn’t look up at Sofiane or Idriss as they make their way towards him because he’s not sure he wants them to know how affected he is. 

"What are you guys still doing here?"

Eliott ignores how Sofiane shoots Idriss a side glance, communicating in a language that the three of them created in the years they've been friends. A language that spoke of closeness and care. One that Eliott they would stop using in this moment because he really wasn't in the mood to answer their questions. 

Because the anger is still fresh. Even more, the hurt. He moves to go open his locker but he finds that he doesn’t want to for fear of what he might find waiting for him. 

A false proclamation of love. 

“Eliott. Did something happen between you and Lucas?” 

Eliott feels like a jumbled mess so he lets Sofiane’s tone soothe him just a bit. He tosses the crumpled note at Idriss who catches it, opens it and whistles at what he sees. Without needing to be asked Idriss hands it over to Sofiane. 

“He’s been leaving the notes the entire as a fucking joke. Played it real good.” He swipes a hand down his face and leans his forehead against his locker, breathing feeling haggard as the calm leaves and the anger is back full force. He slams an open palm against the locker feeling the undulating waves of his emotions attack him head on. 

“Wait, did he say exactly that?” 

Eliott narrows his eyes as Lucas’ voice echoes in his head. 

“That he wrote these notes and he did it as a joke.” 

Eliott runs through the words. Runs through the micro expressions of panic, fear, anger. And he wants to say yes, ready to say he did. Eliott opens his mouth,

“He didn’t, but…” 

“But nothing.” Sofiane says adamantly. “Whatever just happened was probably a very big misunderstanding.” 

“Shit, E…”

Any protest Eliott had dies in his throat as he looks back down at the note Sofiane holds, careful despite the state of it already. He turns back to his locker and is quick to unlock and pull it open. Like he thought, a little note is carefully folded and sitting patiently for him to pick it up. His fingers twitch by his side. 

He grabs it and unfolds the little note with his heart hammering. 

“Make sure you look at it closely. What does it say?”

> _Have you ever dreamt of stars? Watched the sun set and see them come out to play? Have been so close you held them in your hands? Maybe I have. Maybe I’ve sat in the darkness and seen the way your eyes held the dust of them. Blue and grey and speckled with a light. Your eyes, they shine like the night sky come alive. And I’ve been so lucky to hold them in my gaze._

Eliott reads it again. Again. And Again. His eyes flickering left to right, up and down taking in the words writing on the page.

“He...he didn’t write this.This...this isn’t his handwriting.”

When he looks up at his friends he sees Idriss cocking a brow mouth stretched into a sly smirk. 

“W-what?” 

“You know what his handwriting _looks_ like?” 

Eliott is quick to look away as he bites his lips to hide a smile. He flushes when he hears Idriss laugh at his expense. 

He does his best to ignore the flames that lick his face as he looks back down at his note because really, he still needs to solve this shit. 

“I think I fucked up.” His words, harsh and mean and rude replay in his words and Eliott wouldn’t blame Lucas if Lucas didn’t want to talk to him again. He’s not sure why Lucas lied. Made it out like he _did_ write the notes when he clearly didn’t but Eliott is willing to put it behind him and just get Lucas _back_. 

“Hey listen E— ” a ding from his phone interrupts Idriss and he huffs out in irritation. “I know you— ” it dings again. “Tend to— _I'm going to kill her I swear it!_ ” Idriss pauses his heartfelt advice and pulls out his phone, brows in a deep dive position and teeth clenched as he pounds against the keys. 

“I think what he was trying to say is you tend to jump into things. Sit on this for a bit and we can figure this out together. Don’t...don’t go chasing him right now. I, well, we don’t know Lallemant very well but he looks to be the type that will bite if cornered. Know what I mean?” 

And Eliott does. He does know what they mean. He fights against every bone in his body to not call up Lucas. To say sorry. He feels the muscles in his legs twitch with the need to run out and chase Lucas down just to _let him explain_ , like he had been trying to before Eliott’s emotional upheaval interrupted him. 

“Okay, E. Listen. Let’s work this shit out tomorrow. Imane, little fucking princess is ready and waiting. I swear I’ve spent weeks waiting on her ass when she’d stay later than practice ran and not once have I complained.” Idriss knocks Eliott gently on the shoulders before he nods for Sofiane to grab his things as well. Idriss waits for Eliott’s confirmation nod. 

“By the way. You planning on having that one read?”

Eliott shoots him an incredulous look.

“I mean. Had to ask. I’m pretty sure I just won that pool of money with that note.” Idriss walks out the door his laughter light and echoing. 

“Oh and Eliott.” 

Eliott looks at Sofiane, who stands leaning against the door bag slung over one shoulder. 

“Would it be so bad if he was the one writing those notes?” 

Sofiane doesn’t wait for an answer before he leaves but Eliott mulls over the question and the thought of Lucas sitting down with pen and paper--writing down his feelings. And the image makes his heart beat fast and he feels light. 

But he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He wants to fix things. 

First and foremost. His feelings could wait.

*

“Alright princess, get in the car, Sofiane gets shotgun.”

“No, no that’s alright. Imane can get shotgun.” Idriss shoots Sofiane a knowing look to which the other boy simply smiles and runs his hand through his curly hair nervously. 

The three of them get into the car, waiting for Idriss to finish tinkling with his phone before starting to pull out of the parking lot. 

“Idriss, wait.” At the urgent tone Idriss hits the breaks and throws an impatient look at his younger sister.

Imane sits with her face tight and hands clenched in her lap. She stares ahead unblinking as if working up the courage to say what was on her mind. And for a moment Idriss, despite his irritation, feels concern bubbles up because it’s been a very long time since he’s seen such a look on his younger sister's face. 

Imane who was always so calm, collected--the good child and the one who always did the right thing. 

“‘Mane, what’s going on?” He puts the car in park. 

“I messed up. I messed up big time and I should have said no.” She reaches inside her bag and pulls out a worn journal, fingers trembling. 

“‘Mane?” Idriss looks at his younger sister who for the first time in a long time, folds in on herself. 

“What is this?” 

“Lucas’ journal.” 

“What does that have to do with anything.” He takes the journal in hand and his gaze bounces from the journal to his sister then to the back seat at Sofiane who looks like he’s made the connection. Like it makes all the sense in the world. 

“Imane...have you been writing those notes to Eliott...for Lucas?” Imane grimaces before squaring her shoulders. 

"Not exactly…he had no idea it was happening."

Idriss lets out a low whistle. 

"Yann and Arthur asked me to— said it'd give Lucas the push he needed to finally talk to Eliott." She defends. It sounds weak. 

Idriss shakes his head and puts the care into drive. 

"Yeah, you fucked up big time, 'Mane."

"...'Dri, what do I do? They were happy talking to each other. This couldn't be all bad. Right?"

And she sounds like a child. Like his kid sister who he used to make pb & j sandwiches for when their parents were out. Who would beg him to build her the best pillow forts. She sounded nervous and unsure. 

"No it's not. But this was never something for you to decide." 

Imane snaps her mouth shut and looks out the window at the reprimand. She knows she is in the wrong. 

"You gotta come clean,'Mane. To the both of them." 

He looks in the rearview mirror and sees how Sofiane wants to reach out and comfort her, to tell her it's going to be alright. 

But they didn't really know that, did they?

*

Lucas skips the next day. He lounges in bed for most of the morning and afternoon and when dinner time comes around, his mother calls him down to eat. Lucas does so begrudgingly, eyes puffy and red and achy. He really hates crying. It’s the worse.

When his mother asks if he wants to sit and watch a movie after dinner he has half a heart to say no, but her smile guilted him into curling up against her side, wrapped up in a blanket and holding a bowl of popcorn. 

“I don’t know what happened, but you’re going to school tomorrow.” She says this as she bends and kisses his forehead And the protest dies when she pulls away.

That’s how he finds himself at school the next morning. He ignores the 52 unread text messages and the 23 missed calls from Yann and Arthur respectively. Lucas does text Basile to let him know that he was fine and simply needed a mental health day. That yes, he would be in school today. 

No he won’t see him at lunch. He blames it on the fact that he was slightly distracted, texting Basole back, but he doesn't see him until it's too late. 

Lucas' cheek quickly becomes acquainted with the cold metal ridges of his locker. He drops his phone and cries out as the hand on the back of his head doesn't let up. Lucas just knows his skin catches and drips from the burning feeling beneath his eye. 

He swings out with his arm but barely catches the other boy. 

"I don't know what you did but I just know it was your fault Demaury ran the team raggard yesterday." 

The pressure lets up and Lucas pushes himself away from the locker. His breathing labored and anger making him see red. 

"Fuck you Munier. Maybe he was trying to help you gain some skills. Lord knows you need it.” He spits back and for a split second, Charles takes a terrifying step towards him and Lucas is ready to take a hit. It never comes because Charles’ wrist gets caught before he can swing. 

“Lallemant’s right, Charlie boy. You’ve seen the bench more than you’ve seen the pitch this season. Should be thanking our captain if you know what’s good for you.” 

Charles pulls himself out of Idriss’ grasp and snarls at the both of them looking as if he was about to say something before he shakes his head and stalks away. 

Lucas breathes out a sigh of relief. 

“You good?”

“Yeah, thanks.” 

Lucas sees how the taller boy nods his head; eyes still tracking Charles and once out of sight Idriss smiles down at Lucas. 

“Need me to take you to the nurse?” 

Lucas shakes his head and smiles, feeling the skin pull and bruising already. 

“I’ll be fine.” 

“Listen, if he keeps giving you trouble come talk to me or Eliott.”

Lucas swallows. “Right.” He waves when Idriss lightly taps his shoulder with a fist and disappears down the hall. 

Lucas lets out a sigh as he leans against the locker, eyes glued to the ceiling. The only thing that would make this day start off any better is if Eliott stormed down the hallway and dragged him into the bathroom to shove his head down the toilet as a declaration of love. He snorts at the image.

“Hey, hey.” 

Lucas looks to the side and sees Basile bounding over to him; a smile on his face, eyes lit up. 

“Glad you’re alive.” Lucas does snort. 

“And why wouldn’t I be alive?”

“Well from the way Yann and Arthur were acting yesterday, I would’ve thought you were murdered or something. Lucas grimaces. 

“Good, they should feel bad.” Basile gestures with his chin. 

“Wanna walk?” Lucas sighs because he is sure he was going to be skipping first period and his mother was going to kill him when she inevitably gets a phone call. Lucas grabs his books regardless and they find themselves wandering towards the pitch and sitting behind the bleachers and out of sight. 

He fills Basile in and the two of them sit in silence with Lucas stewing and Basile snorting in an awkward laughter. 

“I’m so fucking sorry man, this is like shit from a movie or something.” Lucas finds Basile’s laughter contagious and he smiles at the other boy. When Bas calms down he looks at Lucas with a side smile. 

“Are you okay though?” Lucas shrugs. Not really.

“Am I supposed to be?”

“No way man! Be angry. If this shit blows up even more, stay angry. Stay angry until you are ready to forgive. And if you are never ready then so be it. They put this on themselves.”

Lucas finds himself surprised by his words and oddly comforted. 

“I understand that they just wanted you to be happy but this was not the way to do it. But Lucas, if this ends up working out. Then you’ll have something to thank them for while still being angry at them.” 

And Lucas can see it. Because he knows he’ll forgive once the anger dissipates. But he listens to Bas and keeps a hold of it. An angry that was rightfully his and he wouldn't let anyone take that away from him just yet.

*

By lunch Lucas finds his hiding spot. Thinks he just might be safe from facing any interruption during his lunch hour.The choir room is devoid of students and distractions. He toys with the idea of doing homework but the thought leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

Lucas mentally curses when he hears the click of the door. When he sees Eliott standing there looking unsure Lucas wonders why he has such shit luck.

He wants badly to curl up and pretend he doesn't see Eliott looming over him. 

"What happened?" 

And as if beckoned Lucas looks up at him, looks through his clumped lashes and feels the way his skin is taut and the small cut below his eyes breaks under the pressure and pull. He doesn't wince at the pain. 

Lucas looks away and rolls his eyes, squashing that uncomfortable feeling of his throat closing in on him. He clears the build up and has the urge to spit but has nowhere for it to go so he swallows. If he were a lesser person he might've simply spat on the carpet of the choir room without a care. 

But he cares despite popular opinion. 

"What do you want, Eli—Demaury?" 

That was close. Lucas doesn't like falling into old habits. It's not good for his health. He uses his hands to push his body up and sits more securely against the wall using it as a much needed support. 

He doesn't really expect Eliott to answer but he really wants to know why the other boy found his way into the choir room of all places. He doesn't even take choir as an elective. Never has. 

"Who...who did that to your face?" 

Lucas scoffs and looks away because he really doesn't want Eliott to see how his question, asked with an odd worry that Lucas thought he'd never hear again, bothers him. How it affects him.. Eliott's words are laced with an undercurrent of anger. 

Maybe it was anger for the fact that he didn't get a chance to fuck up Lucas' face himself. Lucas toys with that thought. Tries to make it true in his head because hating Eliott would be easier if he could paint Eliott as the bad guy. 

He wished he could talk to his friends about this; wish he wasn't here by himself during Lunch. Hiding. But his friends are shitty. And he doesn't want to see any of them. 

Not until he's ready to forgive. But that could be years from now. Maybe when he's old and grey.

"Can I help you with something?" Lucas plucks at a loose piece of carpet, eyes locked on the floor, refusing to look back up at Eliott. He has some resolve. He doesn't want the other boy destroying it. "Want me to pen you another letter? Sorry, no can do. I've run out of ideas. Not much about you to sing praises for." 

Lucas shrugs almost nonchalantly and let's his mouth run without a filter. He spits the words that he's practiced while lying in bed ever since the whole situation blew up in his face. 

Weird how he had nothing to do with the whole thing yet he is the one who has to reap the benefits. Fuck Yann. Fuck Arthur. Fuck Basile… okay not Basile. He didn't do anything. 

And fuck Charles. And fuck Eliott. 

"I...there's more to this isn't there? Something you haven't told me?" 

Lucas can't explain the feeling away. How his fingers tingle or the way his chest hurts. Or the way he stands up feeling ready to push at the other boy because he is so upset. Because,

"You think?" 

Eliott winces and Lucas wants to stop and say sorry but he does have some self worth. And he didn't deserve any of this to be dropped on him. 

"Well I thought everything was _self explanatory_ , Demaury. Suddenly, you want this _pathetic, loser ass_ to explain shit to you?" 

He throws the words right back at Eliott but simultaneously revels in the way he flinches and feels guilt eat him from the inside out. 

"You don't get to demand an explanation just because." Not when he refused to listen the first time. Not when he spat insults at Lucas just because he was angry and mad and feeling betrayed. For something Lucas didn't have much control over. And maybe there is a slight bitterness that stays, like residue underneath his nails and Lucas can't shake it. Lucas makes a move to storm away and leave the vicinity because he feels like the room is suddenly too small for the both of them. 

As he moves forward Eliott grabs his wrist and Lucas feels those fingers sear into his skin, warm and pulsing and he tries hard to pull away but Eliott doesn't budge. 

"Let go." 

"Did you lie? Just tell me the truth so we can fix this...please. I miss hanging out with you. We can put this bullshit behind us. I'll get over it." 

And Lucas feels that cold slap on the face because Eliott still doesn't understand, doesn't really know and Lucas can't _blame_ him but he doesn't know how he is supposed to just out right say, 

"I didn't."

But Lucas won't just tell Eliott what he wants to hear. Lucas doesn't want to go back and pretend those words weren't his. He doesn't think he could effectively pretend he doesn't care for Eliott deeply and Eliott..well he isn't ready for the truth. 

“I didn’t.” He repeats.

And maybe it's the way he says it but Eliott still doesn't look like anything is resolved. Like he has more questions now than he has answers.

"What?"

"I didn't lie." 

Eliott let's go of his wrist and Lucas let's him take that however he may. Because he stands by the fact that he doesn't owe Eliott anything even if he wants to give him everything. 

He would love to go back to the way things were. Where he wasn't mad at Yann. When he sat next to Eliott at lunch feeling his heat radiate off his body. How Eliott didn't think twice about throwing his arm around Lucas' shoulders as they walked down the halls. Like a couple. More than friends. 

Lucas misses the jokes and he misses Eliott's playfulness. He misses his laughter and his smiles.

Lucas wants Eliott back but not at the expense of Eliott sweeping everything under the rug. Not at the expense of Eliott convincing himself that Lucas was playing a cruel joke on him for some unknown reason. 

He doesn't want that. He'd rather not have Eliott at all. 

When that bell rings Lucas throws one last look at Eliott but takes it as his cue to leave. Yet Eliott calls out again, almost like a desperate attempt to make him stay. 

“Tell me what happened.” Lucas hears that silent plea in the tone of his voice but really he doesn’t want to start anymore trouble. He shrugs when all he wants to scream is _“ask those friends of yours”._ Because maybe they’d be a little more honest than his own friends. 

Lucas doesn't wait to read into the little broken sound that claws its way out of Eliott's mouth and straight to his heart. He definitely doesn't overlook the fact that Eliott's face crumbles just a bit, right before Lucas turns for good as that second bell signals he is late for biology. 

He has half the mind to skip. To avoid Yann and his stupid face that screams at Lucas to forgive. And Lucas thinks maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. He hasn't made up his mind yet. 

He goes to class. Finds it weird that Yann sits less than two feet away from him but the distance between them might as well be a canyon. He pulls up his hood and ignores the eyes drilling into the side of his head. It becomes a pattern for him. Routine almost, for the next two days. 

Going to class and actually doing work for once. Eliott doesn't even attempt to sit near him but Lucas never felt his presence more. 

Still. Lucas avoids everyone and he doesn't run into Eliott again outside of class. The lunchroom is the red zone and it takes him another three days and another 32 unread texts to break his resolve to finally step foot in there. 

It's when Arthur and Yann are brooding silently and not paying attention that Lucas slams his tray on the table that is one table away from the girls and two away from the jocks. He relishes in the way the two of them jump eyes growing wide. If he wasn't so angry he would have laughed.

Yann sputters, mouth opening and closing trying to formulate words as Arthur looks from him to Yann and then back again, as if to say, _"are you seeing what I'm seeing?"_

"Don't speak to me. I'm still mad at you guys." He throws in before Yann has a chance to speak. There is a slight satisfaction in watching Yann close his mouth and mine throwing away the key. They both look contrite and longing while Lucas eats and Basile make slight conversation. 

"It's been weird since you decided to go all solitary confinement on us." Basile says this with a shrug of his shoulder and a point of his plastic spark. 

Lucas chanced a quick look around the lunch room and found that the air is thick with a tension that he can't place. It's quieter and by far more tamed with the lack of rambunctious laughter and horsing around. The chatter is present in little pockets. 

What's odd is he finds many pairs of eyes resting on _him_. 

The ever present attention from Arthur and Yann not being accounted for, there was Charles who sat supporting a blackened eye and a mean glare. His lips taut in a straight line. Charles' bruise looks just good as the one healing under Lucas' eye. 

The girls who, though they were talking quietly and pushing their food around on plastic trays kept looking in his direction. 

Emma looks at Imane who looks upset, lips drawn down and eyes glossy. He's subjected to the nervous back and forth look Daphne throws his way; nervous like she couldn't decide if she should look at him or not.

Lucas doesn't know what he expects when he looks over at that _table_ , past Charles, but when he does he is greeted with Idriss' intense gaze and a contemplative Sofiane. 

Elliot's back was turned towards him. Lucas feels disappointed almost as he takes in the broad planes of his back--the way that white tee he wears stretches to the max across his shoulders. 

"Oh fuck me— I can't take this bullshit anymore!" 

The shout causes a hush to blanket the lunchroom as Emma stands from her seat, eyes crazed and determined. She stands folding her arms across her chest, a frown marking up her pretty face. Next to her Imane and Daphne try to get her to sit down. 

She doesn't budge. 

"I did it— it was me— I put those notes in your locker ." 

"What the fuck…" Lucas looks at Arthur and Yann who look equally as shocked as Lucas feels. "What is she talking about?" 

He was positively malfunctioning. The outburst causes Eliott to snap his head up and stare at Emma unbelieving before turning to look at Lucas, his look asking Lucas to stand and deny what Emma was saying was true. 

And Lucas couldn't because he really had no idea who was leaving the notes. For all he knew, it _was_ Emma. 

"Emma, _sit_ down." Imane pulls on her shirt and speaks through clenched teeth and Emma simply shakes her off. 

"It's okay Imane, I've got this." 

It's the split second when Imane looks from Emma to Eliott to Lucas when everything suddenly makes sense.

Lucas can see the puzzle pieces fit together. Because she wears the same guilt on her face like Yann and Arthur wore theirs. 

"Imane was in on this wasn't she?" Lucas whispers to Yann and Arthur as the lunchroom drama play out one table away from them. 

"Lucas I swear to you we only asked Imane for help. We had no idea anyone else was involved." Yann whispers back a little helplessly. 

Lucas chuckles. All jittery and nervous because really, he couldn't have asked for a more fucked up situation. He sees Eliott stand in his peripheral and Lucas catches his breath and holds it. To his left Basile has already sat down with a bag of opened skittles. Chowing down and watching the disaster play out like a movie. 

When Bas sees him looking, he winks. 

"It's gonna be okay dude. And if not? You're only here for another year. Right?" 

Except Lucas would lose the one person he's been chasing since he was a kid. He is struck with the thought that he had wasted so many years being scared to reach out. Being scared to say anything and building up that wall that kept his feelings in and Eliott out. 

"So you're...what? You like me? You wrote all those letters?" Lucas can hear the cautious tone as Eliott spoke. It helped that almost everyone, teachers included, were captured by the drama. Waiting silently with abated breath. 

"Yep. It was all me. My feelings." Her lips pop on her words.

Lucas didn't know if he should be offended that she was taking the credit for his words and his thoughts and his feelings. Quite frankly he felt a bit lost. 

"Emma!" Imane practically shouts as she stands. "No, we can't." 

"Alright what's going on?" 

Lucas thought this would be everything. Emma would confess and Lucas would let her steal his feelings, make them her own, and Eliott would ask her out. He doesn't anticipate Imane looking contrite as she reaches to grab something out of her bag and it was Idriss and Sofiane— of all people— who jump up to scream at her to stop. 

But they were too late. And Lucas saw. A familiar worn journal that he'd been looking for, that wasn't in his closet where it was supposed to be. That was held in a vice like grip. 

He acts before he thinks. Jumping up from his table and weaving through the spaces of tables to reach Imane before anything else could be said. He appears in front of the girls like a demon, chest heaving and mouth open with only one mission on mind. He ignores Daphne's startled gasp and squeak.

Without asking Lucas pulls the journal out of Imane's loosened grip and holds the journal to his chest protectively. 

Elation fills his veins at finally having it back in his possession but he pauses when he is suddenly the center of attention. His heartbeat speeds up when he looks around and shock is written into the lines of his classmates face as he incriminates himself. His actions thicken the plot. He bites his lips and turns only to come face to face with Eliott who sports a myriad of feelings on his face. 

Shock. 

Disbelief. 

Relief. 

….happiness? 

Lucas doesn't stay to decipher. He takes two slow steps backwards and turns to leave. His little feet carrying him away from the scene. He hears Emma's harsh shout echoing behind him as he makes his escape. 

"Fuck Demaury, I know you're bad at math but put two and two together and go chase after Lallemant."

Lucas rushes. Because while Bas might be fine dealing with the fall out, Lucas isn't quite ready.  
For the second time in so many weeks Lucas rushes to leave the building. 

"Lucas wait!" 

Lucas clenches his eyes as panic sets up a tea party in his stomach. Telling him it was there to stay. For a while at least. He barely makes it out the double doors and halfway across the green of the school when he feels arms wrap tightly around his waist pinning his arms and he's falling forward. Lucas turns his face and clenches his teeth and closes his eyes preparing for impact but it never comes. A heartbeat later and the arms have yet to loosen. When Lucas opens his eyes slowly, he blinks up at the sky. Lucas twists until he's facing Eliott— one trembling hand on Eliott's study chest, knees supporting his own weight as they rest between Eliott's spread legs. 

Lucas still feels the warmth of Elliott's fingers holding onto him. Fingers that tickle his side with a sturdy grip. Lucas' other hand still holds his journal against his chest. 

His feelings sit between the two of them as written words. 

"I wish you'd stop running away." 

"I'm not running." He was running. Eliott laughs, throws his head back against the grass and his mouth opens wide the sound carries all around them and Lucas can't stop how it filled so completely. 

"You thought you could outrun the captain of the rugby team."

Lucas shrugs. "I didn't think you'd chase after me." At that Eliott grows quiet. 

"I want to kiss you." 

Lucas choked on air. He knew no matter fast he ran he'd never escape the heat that licked up the column of his neck, rested on his cheeks. and warmed the tips of his ears. 

"I want to hold your hands— " 

A strangled noise left his throat. 

"I want to take your books and walk you to class. I want to drive you home. I want to spend the night talking on the phone with you for hours— "

Lucas closes his eyes and bites his lips. 

"I want you to come to my games— and give me a kiss before each one for luck. I want to know what you've written in that journal. Lucas, I want to know what you think of me and I want to hear you say it, not read it through some silly notes that were written half-assed because they didn't even know you don't cross your 't's'. Lucas I want— "

Lucas can't take it anymore. He drops his head and closes the distance between the two of them. He sighs at the feel of soft lips pressing against his. And it was nothing like what he imagined it to be like. It was better. It wasn't sparks or color splashes in his vision. But it was warmth in his heart. A warmth that steadied him in ways he hasn't felt. 

When he pulls away, Lucas is greeted with a look of content. 

"Lucas, I wanted those notes to be from you so badly. I want to thank your shitty friends and be mad at them with you. I want to keep having lunch with you by my side. I want— " 

Lucas shuts him up again with another kiss. He giggles when Eliott's arms move to wrap more securely across his back. Pulling Lucas to rest all his weight on Eliott. 

When he pulls away Eliott is quick to open his mouth and start again. 

"I want to eat cookies that— "

He drops another kiss and pulls away. 

"I want to— "

Again. 

"I— "

"You're doing this on purpose." 

At Eliott's sly grin Lucas slaps him on the chest drawing out a laugh from the taller boy. Eliott brings a hand up to brush Lucas' hair out of his face; the move gentle and soft. 

"Then don't stop kissing me." 

Lucas finds his heart rushing for a different reason altogether as he moves to close the distance once again. He doesn't let thoughts of his friends cloud his feelings, choosing to handle that as it comes his way. He thank and be mad at them later. Right now he has a boy to kiss.

"I won't stop." 

And when he presses his lips to Eliott's again he thinks of all the feelings that he's held so close making themselves known. He gives it all to Eliott. Feeling as if they never were his to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will you please leave your thoughts??  
> Please and thank you 
> 
> @bluronyourradar---tumblr


	6. Outtakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Bearing My Soul: Reading to You  
> 2\. Kisses Taste So Sweet  
> 3\. Cornered  
> 4\. Jacket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some outtakes that I'll post here. If ever I get any ideas for this universe I will continue to add to this story =)
> 
> ALSO: 
> 
> ever since this shit show started with society, you know...the whole world stopping and all that, I haven't seen some of you in a couple of months (not asking for comments) just want to make sure you are safe and well. Because I'm concerned and it's weird. 😘

**1\. Bearing My Soul: Reading to You**

It happens after a shared dinner with Lucas’ mother. Eliott does a sham job of scrunching up the sleeves of his shirt before plunging elbow deep in warm water and suds and starts to wash the dishes because, _“ma’am you cooked, the least I can do is help Lucas with washing up.”_

A response that has Lucas rolling his eyes and lips drown down as he mocked Eliott and his near perfect wooing of his mother’s heart. Lucas leans his back against the sink, a washcloth in his hands as he dries the warmed dishes. He feels a splash on the side of his face and turns disbelieving eyes on Eliott. 

“You did not just do that.” 

Eliott raises a brow. “Don’t mock me.” 

Lucas scoffs. “Well don’t make it easy for me.” He retorts. Eliott answers with a cupped palm and a slight of his hand. Suds and warm water curve through the air before wetting the front of his shirt and drip from his chin. 

A beat passes and Lucas feels a thrill run through him at the challenge he see’s in Eliott’s gaze. His hand moves quickly, fingers skimming the surface of the water. His eyes, all cornflower blue, widen in satisfaction at the way the front of Eliott’s shirt becomes slightly transparent in it’s dampen state and sticks to his chest. 

“Oh, you’re going to regret doing that.”

By the time mama Lallemant checks in on the two of them the kitchen floor has become a slip-n-slide and Lucas is far more drenched than Eliott. 

“Look at the both of you, causing more work for me. Out, the both of you. Go get changed.” Lucas leads Eliott up the stairs, fingers weaved together, smile sheepish on his face. 

He lends Eliott a loose t that he normally wears to bed and a towel to dry off with. It’s the moment after they’ve migrated Lucas’ small double–both lounging and tangled up together Lucas with his back against his headboard and Eliott with his arm wrapped around his waist and head resting in Lucas’ lap, that it happens. 

Lucas runs his fingers through chestnut locks feeling the best kind of content fills his chest just looking down at the head of hair and seeing Eliott lying there wearing a shirt one size too small for him and not complaining. 

Then Eliott looks up from his position eyes sparkling with a heartfelt mischief that strikes in Lucas’ heart. 

“Can you read me one?” Lucas feels that same pink monster that he harbors sit pleasantly on his cheeks. Like it does every time Eliott has asked. 

Ever since discovering Lucas had a whole journal dedicated solely on the feelings he felt for Eliott, it has been common practice for Eliott to plead for Lucas to read him something.

_“But why?”_

_“Because I love hearing your voice.”_

And Lucas was weak to that. Sue him. 

He brushes the hair from Eliott’s temple and bends to drop a kiss there, his lips stay close and his voice comes out soft. He recites a note he has memorized because there in his journal, he has written it over and over again. 

_“Have you ever counted your perfections? Laid them out one by one. Been thankful for carrying such a story?”_

Lucas keeps his eyes closed as his fingers run a pathway down the curve of one cheek in a gentle touch.

_“One for that scar, thin and white, and barely there.”_

He traces the scar.

_“Two for your laugh lines deep and grooved with a lifetime of happiness.”_

Lucas leaves gentle kisses where he knew those laugh lines laid prominent every time Eliott laughs or smile. Thinks about how it leaves him breathless each time. 

_“Three, for your crooked fingers laid straight with strength.”_

His hands move until their fingers are slotted together. 

_“So many that I have trouble listing every bit of you. But I have. I’ve counted every one. And I have so willingly memorized it all.”_

When he’s done, Lucas sits up slightly and smiles down at Eliott who still has his eyes closed, listening to the lingering sound of his voice. 

“You listed all my flaws.”

Lucas shakes his head. 

“I didn’t.”

**2\. Kisses Taste So Sweet**

“Lucas, baby. Come here a moment, won’t you?” 

Lucas pads softly into the kitchen with socked feet. He yawns and rubs at his face with the sleeve of an oversized sweater, eyes glaring at his mother for making him get up from his comfortable lounging state on the couch. 

He perks up when the sickly sweet smell of chocolate chip cookies tickle his nose and he makes his way over to the table, mouth watering at the sight of the golden brown treats, large chunks of chocolate scattered and glossy from the heat. 

Lucas reaches for one without thinking and is greeted with a slap on the wrist. He hissed and shoots a betrayed looked at his mother, mouth pulled down in a frown. 

“Not for you.” 

“What? Who’s it for?” He thinks maybe for the neighbors, for the ladies that attend her knitting club every Wednesday afternoon while he’s at school (but really he can’t vouch for those ladies really existing never having seen any of them with his own eyes and having to simply believe what his mother told him). 

He pouts and glares as she moves to pinch his cheeks, quickly moving away from his swiping. 

Lucas watches as she neatly packs at least a dozen cookies, already cooled, into a cute little pink box, tying it all together with twine. Lucas wonders if given the chance, would his mother have been a baker. Run her own bakery and spend her days decorating cupcakes and building flowers out of sugar instead of raising him all by herself. 

He wonders what dreams she gave up to be a mother. 

“Can you give this to that cute Eliott boy?” 

He looks incredulously at her eyes growing wide and mouth dropping. 

“What? No! I’m not giving cookies to Eliott, _are you crazy_?” She narrows her eyes at him before huffing. 

“No need to be rude baby. Fine invite him over so _I can give it to him._ ” Lucas bites his lips feeling contrite. Guilt eats at him as he watches the tense lines of her shoulders move as she cleans the mess in the kitchen. He stares up at the ceiling and swallows his pride. 

“Fine. I’ll give him the cookies. But I’m _not_ staying around to watch him eat it.” It takes a second before those tense lines are gone as she turns beaming at him and Lucas realizes he’s been played. 

Her hands cup his cheeks and she leans in dropping a kiss on both his cheeks, her blonde tickling the side of his face. 

“I think he’s going to love them.”

“You know _I_ love your baking.” He mumbles. 

“Oh I know you do, it’s just nice to hear it from others once in a while.”

So Lucas finds himself standing in front of Eliott’s locker the next day, holding out the little pink box for the taller boy to take. He chews the inside of his cheeks, ignoring how the smile that lights up Eliott’s face makes him a little lightheaded. Woozy. 

“Fuck yeah, Lallemant comes through.” And if Lucas stays to watch as Eliott chows down at least three cookies with a blissed out expression well, it’s only to validate his mother’s baking skills. Not for any other reason. 

Eliott moans around a mouthful. “Oh my god, fuck my diet.” 

Lucas coughs and looks away and does his best to drown out the sound. 

“These are so _fucking_ good.” 

“I wouldn’t know.” Lucas looks at him with a side glance and perhaps a little jealousy bleeds into his tone. Because yes, he still hasn’t had the chance to eat one of his mother’s cookies in a while. 

Lucas watches as Eliott pulls the half bitten cookie from his mouth, eyes widened and brows raised, still chewing thoughtfully. Nimble fingers hold the half eaten cookie up to Lucas’ mouth. 

“You have to try these.” And Lucas has no reason to say _‘no thank you’_ other than the fact that his heart might just stop beating at the thought that Eliott didn’t think twice about offering up a cookie he’d already taken a bite of, but all things considered it seems like a pretty shitty reason to deny his taste buds.

He leans forward and bites at the cookie that Eliott is still holding, feeling it crumble in his mouth. Lucas does his best to ignore the way Eliott watches him intently. When Eliott brings a finger up to brush off the crumbs at the corner of his mouth Lucas just about bursts, a strangled noise ripping from his throat. 

“I know, a _fucking orgasm in your mouth_ , right?” 

Lucas chokes.

**3\. Cornered**

The door to the locker room creaks and Eliott feels two seconds away from blowing a gasket. He wrings his fingers anxiously to try and calm his nerves and throws his head back, eyes closed and mouth open. He breathes out once, labored. 

“Idriss, I swear if you tell me to calm down one mo–”

“Calm down.” Eliott’s eyes fly open and his head snaps towards the door where Lucas leans against it. 

Lucas looks at him with a cocked brow inviting him to argue back but really. Eliott rolls his eyes and puffs his cheeks to hide a smile as he looks away. 

“What are you doing here?” He doesn’t have to look to know that Lucas moves closer. Moves to sit down just an arms width away from him on the bench. 

“Mm. I don’t know. I heard Idriss in the hall screaming about how you were having a meltdown so I thought I’d come check it out.” 

When Eliott tilts his head just the slightest, staring down his nose at Lucas who looks content resting his weight on one arm and picking a loose thread of his jeans with the other, he lets a small smile play on his lips. 

“Yeah. Was it everything you imagined it would be?” Eliott shoves lightly against Lucas’ shoulders and Lucas’ moves with the force, his own smile coming out to play. Eliott shuffles a little closer so his elbows touch Lucas’ arms. 

Neither one mention the closeness. 

Lucas shrugs. “Pretty tamed for what I was imagining a meltdown would look like.” 

“Did you go to the game?” Eliott asks softly and Lucas answers with a snort. 

“Absolutely not my scene. You know that.” 

“Oh?” Eliott raises a brow. “What are you doing so late if not to see our team lose?” 

Lucas turns his head to look up and around the room. Eliott watches how those blue eyes, catching sunlight, tick left and right taking in the metal lockers as if they are the most interesting thing in the world.

“I was finishing up some bio homework and studying for the quiz we have next week.” 

“Hm. Sounds interesting.” He doesn’t bring up the fact that the bio room has the best view in the building, what with wall to wall windows overlooking the pitch. Lucas shoves him back chuckling. 

“Shut up.” 

“No you’re right, fuck biology.” Eliott barks a laugh at the offended look on Lucas’ face and the boy stands up, arms crossed over his chest, eyes locked on the floor to the left of him. Eliott wishes for some reason that Lucas would look at him. 

“I see that you’re feeling better, I should go.” 

“Thanks, I…you–it was just such a shitty loss. So thank you.” Eliott stutters out, finding it hard to accept that Lucas was trying to leave already. 

“Whatever, last I checked Alex fumbled that shit, not you.” Eliott stares as horror slowly creeps up and masks Lucas’ face as he realizes what he just said; his mouth dropping open in shock. Eliott looks slyly at the other boy. He stands up and stalks towards him feeling a great sense of satisfaction. 

“Oh really? I thought you said you didn’t watch the game?”

“I-I didn’t.” Lucas backs up until his back bumps the door and his eyes lock onto Eliott. Eyes so blue and wide and caught in his own lie. Eliott moves until he looms over him, one hand moving to brace against the door just above Lucas’ head. 

“I think,” He bends until he is eye level. “Someone’s lying.”

**4\. Jacket**

“Hey, you guys go on ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Eliott waves and shoos Idriss and Sofiane off as he turns and jogs back towards the front entrance of the school. His car keys clink loudly in the pocket of his maroon and creme colored Letterman Jacket. 

He sees Lucas standing there glaring up at the clouds floating thick with rain overhead. One hand grips the strap of his bag and in his other his phone sits uselessly, screen black. 

“Got ditched by your friends?” 

Eliott smiles when those eyes flicker over at him as if he was the reason Lucas was standing outside the school seemingly stranded. A crack of thunder draws Lucas’ attention away again as he goes back to looking at the sky. 

A rush of wind ruffles their hair and Eliott watches as Lucas shivers, his arms moving closer to his body and the shorter boy curls in on himself, trying to find warmth in his short sleeved shirt. Lucas looks back at him, eyes hooded in a lackluster glare and lips slightly jutted completing the look of a sad hedgehog, prickly hair included. 

“Yann went home sick and Arthur and Bas already left. It’s just my luck that my phone died last period and I can’t call home.” 

The wind whips again and Lucas clenches his eyes shut and his shoulders rise up and he makes a poor impression of a turtle. Around them, rain starts to fall and Eliott can’t help but think Lucas’ eyes had looked so blue in the grey light before he closed them. 

“Fuck.”

“I’ll give you a ride home.” One eye cracks open to regard him. 

“Oh no...you d-don’t ha--” 

The gentle pitter patter turns into a downpour. 

“Stop. I want to. But we need to get from here,” Eliott lifts an arm and points across the way where his black Lexus sits, parked all by it’s lonesome, "to there."

Lucas looks from his car to Eliott and back out at the thundering rain. 

“Right now?” 

“Not yet.” Eliott moves to grab Lucas’ bag and it is handed over without a struggle. He places it gently on the ground, grabs his keys and shrugs off his jacket, the material moist from rain. Eliott drapes the jacket across Lucas’ smaller shoulders. He smiles at the way it engulfs his smaller frame. He turns Lucas lightly and sees the way “DEMAURY” is splashed across the smaller boys back. 

Sees the number 27. Eliott smiles. Because he likes it. 

Likes the way it looks on the small brunette. Lucas looks at him, those eyes still wide and mouth slightly agape. 

Eliott bends and picks up the bag, shouldering it with ease. He reaches out a hand and straightens out a strand of hair that hangs in front of Lucas' face. 

“Now.” 

Eliott turns and runs. He smiles as he is drenched from head to toe, hair clinging to his face and water dripping from his lashes with every blink. His vision is blurred as he sets sight on the finish line. He turns and sees Lucas running, fingers gripping the jacket for dear life. Determination set in his eyes to not let it slide off his shoulders as he rushes after Eliott. 

The sight makes Eliott laugh as his feet pound the ground, splashing through quickly formed puddles. He unlocks his car and they both sit there panting, the sound of the rain amplified in the enclosed space. 

He doesn’t think of how his seats will smell of dew come tomorrow morning as he stares out in front of him at the foggy glass of the windshield. He looks over at Lucas who still has a look of waterlogged surprise painted on his face, lips blue from the cold. 

Eliott leans his head on his steering wheel and is unable to stop the laughter, fingers moving to wipe at the water running in rivulets down his forehead. 

“You’re fucking insane.”

No. He he doesn’t think so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave love! 
> 
> tumblr: @bluronyourradar : I'm thinking of taking it a little easier on this site tho. Wanna focus more on the writing and posting than anything else =)

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you enjoyed. Yes. I am still working on all my WIPs. Sorry if you're waiting for one in particular.


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